poetry critical

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Food Chain

.                                        L    
                                       A    W
                                     S          A
T                           E     I                 Y     S  
       H            R                                             S  
…            E                                                          O
N                                                               M  
  A                                                        E                    you
H            E     G                                          T
       R                   G       I        G     N     I      H
T                                         B

1 Aug 07

Rated 10 (7.8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (14): 1, 1, 1, 3, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(8 more poems by this author)

(7 users consider this poem a favorite)

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ignore the period above the T in "there" - i had to put it there for compositional purposes
 — thefatwon

very nice job with the fish.
 — Virgil

This might read better if I was stoned out of my mind.  LOL.  I like the whole chain effect you got goin' on here, but I don't like the way you have to work to get the message, which is also unclear.  "There is always something bigger than you?"  I'm trying to find the metaphor/meaning in this.  It's also not very kind on the eyes.  A little too E.E. Cummings, perhaps?  Maybe after I smoke a blueberry blunt to my face it'll read better.
 — starr

I love it!  I had to read the other comments in order to see the whole fish thing.  I came back, favorited it and rated it a "10" now that I know wuzzup.  Very creative and original.  
 — starr

thank you for your comments
 — thefatwon

thats pretty cool
 — thefatwon

 — BrokenJoke

a microcosm for the universe perhaps...or life/death itself.
Man it is the truth though.
 — DeformedLion

Bloody marvellous! Amazing! Wunderbar!  unk :))))
 — unknown

Very clever, interesting and fun.  Visually, it is somewhat difficult to read.  But this isn't a poem.  It is very cool, but not a poem.
 — propoet50

geeeeshhh whatever.
 — unknown

rockin poem! i do not understand how this is not poetry, cause i have seen some pretty weird shit that people think is poetry. you are a clever little bastard.
 — dustybottoms

hahahaha i loved this
 — 1994

Very Clever
 — unknown

this is simply wonderful
 — Delicatelie

 — SenorSin

nice favorite.
 — fractalcore

that's cool!

to eliminate the necessity of using the period to gain the initial spacing:
use the italics tag ( without the underscores) then just use the space bar to add as much space as you like, then close the tag ( without the underscores)

 — chuckle_s

nope, it didnt show up. the tag, on this site, is
left arrow (shift comma)
lowercase i
right arrow (shift period)
and then the same except add / before the i to close the tag  
 — chuckle_s

Why is this in top rated?
 — eyesaque

Obvious once I read it, the whole shark thing is "clever". I remember having a project to make something out of words like this, in the eight grade. Takes me back to that day in class. We used yellow paper that day...
 — MattPat

sounds like eyesaque was a lil jealous; anywho thanks for my fifteen mins woooooooooooooooooooooooo
 — thefatwon

This is very clever!  Love it!
 — ninabaladina

just revisiting.

: )
 — fractalcore

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 — unknown




 — unknown

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 — unknown

There is always something bigger than you.
I like this, because you don't have to follow the lines. When I first looked at it I could instantly see the poem. Nice. Very clever.
 — unknown