Comments:
I like "place poems" a lot and yours is very good. You have a sweet ability not to give away too much. You must be a good gambler.
— banditfemme
it took a few reads, yes
but I liked it.
menses, that's pretty good.
Love the alliterative quality to the sencond stanza.
I would remove the period at the end of 13,
start 14 with "and our heart" (seperating heartbeats adds something interesting),
the next line "beats, disregarding..."
in L17 again, i'd ditch the period, go for a semi, and get "The", lowercased.
that's all my picking. Food for thought,
great job!
=-)
— jenakajoffer
Sir I I sir
nice suggestions
— trochee
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