poetry critical

online poetry workshop

circular saw

only wthen i looked
back at the dust and division
i could see what i had sawn
wringing in my years
smelling baked
pine at dawn
and only just
then could i
see what i will


13 Oct 07

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nice poem. spelling purposeful in line 1? much future.
 — hank

only when i'd sown what i'd sem'd, had i saw what i'd sought in poetry. a "grant"? the concept is there, and it's cold and fine, but there's something a little self satisfied in how you've written this, and i think it can be hacked down or at least planed into more than a stack of lumber.
 — joey

you have performed magic
come out come out whoever you are
 — stout

been looking at this, feverishly.
 — hank

i think it would be neat if you was in the ps
nice words
thank you
 — chuckle_s