|~I Used a Towel
I have a bathroom,
a bathroom painted
blue; with a sink
Alas it is not complete,
for true ecstasy comes only
20 Nov 07
Rated 8.7 (8.7) by 3 users.
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Stupid poem of the month
Yep. It's pretty fuckin' stupid alright.
I liked it, so true... :D
Ditch "the presence of" (lines 9-10). "ecstasy comes only/with toilet paper" would suffice.
yes it is stupid.
never said it was clever.
and thanks mikkirat i will fix it now.
Should footnote be part of the poem?
like gangsta as in 'that is the sickest g'
or as in 'i threw up in my mouth a little bit'
how about we compromise and you
don't read this crap
Dah, I had hoped to be done with this thing, but since it keeps jumping out at me, here's two more cents on the subject of the footnote: consider making "I Used A Towel" the title instead. Comedic pause.
a little cleaner now,
Larry ruffage Lark
Lost its rythym but gained respectability. Excuse me while I run to the john.
Thank you once again Mr Lark and to you Bill the poet
I've seen that before...
i used a _____ but that was a long time ago.
Hah, glad you liked it.
I hate it when no-one stacks up,
and I don't want to waddle around awkwardly searching.
But refraining from the details,
we tend to forget about our bare hand, don't we?
whatever you did on the toilet.
I guess, my sink does work
but I'd rather refrain from that.