|@las(t): i don't shrug
For hugs and kisses supposedly nil
I crave -- a craving unwanted, unreal;
Pain soon departs as the lady appears,
My heart she captures, I break down to tears.
20 Dec 07
Rated 8 (8.3) by 1 users.
Inactive (2): 7, 8, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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A.D. or B.C. ? ;)
you kiddin' a kid, joey?
well, it does have the feeling of longing for the fields of akkadia :)
would it be good to live there?
after the long craving, breaking down to tears is the natural reaction of a sensitive soul.
i like the use of 'lady' and 'captures'
beautiful, i love it.
i love this poem, too.
to live there? nah, too much babel, plus the word processors turn muddy runs when it rains.
would you recommend
Atlantis in lieu of Akkadia?
I GET THE TITLE!
title: ayn rand reference?
well, sort of.
5 (to start)
+2 (for shortness)
+2 (for clever title)
-3 ("i break down to tears")
+1 (rhyming nil with unreal)
+1 (feels authentic)
+1 (ee cummings reference)
-1 (backwards phrasing ("My heart she captures")
I'll give it a seven.
Seriously, l4 is a killer for me.
happy new year.
replaced the semicolon
in |3 with a comma.
Yeah, I must be dimwitted because I don't get this poem.
I love the way it reads; the sounds and rythmn are nice,
but I can't read INTO it.
'break down to tears' (the only phrase I find blah).
"8" because it sounds cool, but I don't get it.
shall i change it to "i weep happ tears." then?
i meant "happy".
i like that innocent kind of rhyming. was nice to read that with this poem.
clever usage with the first word(s) in the title. i like it when you do that ... pleasantly unconventional.
automatic double meaning.
I have just begun reading Atlas Shrugged...how odd this would appear....
thank[s,] ewe[,] guys.
i feel like talking about the book and author
and forgetting all about this post, hehe.
so when are they gonna release the flick?
the fountainhead is a nice movie, by the way.
...as I'm only about 10 pages in...and it's a damn big read!...I don't have much of anything to offer in way of discussion...hopefully others will!
I forgot to mention that I like this little poem very much. As previously mentioned, extra brownie points for rhyming nil and unreal.