poetry critical

online poetry workshop

The 28th of December

maybe it was all one big metaphor,
the book of secrets,
things we really knew all along
but never had any confirmation of.
a splash of irony and foreshadow
in a Jack and Coke that was more soda at the top,
with the truth at the bottom of glass.
we lost the time and found words,
everything so surreal, something straight out of a movie.
shades of high school, of innocence,
like it was the first time being yourself in a long time.
two a.m. came and then four,
then it was quiet as the phones closed
and that was the first time all night there was an awkward silence.
I fell asleep thinking
there are simple ways to define each night,
as good or bad, fun or sad,
but we reached back and found something more complex,
subtle and sincere, we spoke
like we were searching for a missing person
that was sitting with us at the table the whole time.

dinner and a tmc movie next friday night?

29 Dec 07

Rated 10 (7.7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (1): 3, 10

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fave 10.

happy new year.
: )
 — fractalcore

i like this very much - rhythmic with so much subtlety - december 28th is a special day for me - and that lured me in - the poem didn't disappoint.
 — opal

EH, very mediocre, but the audience on this site will love it for its lack of depth, teen-love-story-feel, and superficial tangibility.
 — unknown

just revisiting.
and, unk, i just turned 12, hehe.
: )
 — fractalcore