poetry critical

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Curiosity killed no cats.
Aziel

Last night, in a violent fervor,
 1
i dressed as a rabbit,
 2
so perhaps you wouldn't recognize me
 3
for the pussy I am.
 4
I slept, dressed the same,
 5
making my voice trilled and heavy
 6
with wanting.
 7
 
 
For hours, I dreamt unsoundly,
 8
a small, bent Polaroid in one hand,
 9
the other hand shoved between my legs.
 10
I prayed for a coming reaction,
 11
but instead I woke up
 12
and found that I'd only aroused myself.
 13
 
 
Later, I stood in the way of a spider
 14
aiming for nothing.
 15
It angered me
 16
that he kicked me
 17
from a web he didn't own.
 18
It angered me more
 19
that he lied about the weather.
 20
 
 
There was not a cloud in the sky
 21
that could keep me from wondering
 22
who the fuck this rancid arachnid
 23
thought he was.
 24

8 Jan 08

Rated 10 (7.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10
Inactive (10): 1, 4, 5, 6, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

curiosity
 — unknown

like the oddity
 — poetbill

this is my favourite today. wonderful.
 — raskolniikov

this is pretty weird..i'm not sure if its poetry or not!
nice title though
 — mr_e

i'm in awe of your talent for writing wonderful poems in such a variety of styles. if i wasnt mature enough to admire you i'd hate you.
good stuff.
 — wemsntdspair

clever.
: )
 — fractalcore

This is very, very, good.  So powerful!
 — PaulS

Really enjoyed some lines (2-4, 8-10 in particular) ut otherwise can't really get the tone- is this surrealist or just a bit disjointed and cloying?
 — GWH

nicely subverting self and image in this, like an off-set fairy tale, a company of spiders instead of a company of wolves, in a rabbit costume..

small and highly focused distractions from the event/s you are trying to distract yourself from here... a self deception of interest, and projecting emotive situations on the innocent..

you are the spider, as you see yourself standing in your own way, kicking yourself... wanting some comfort or truth or both... and it's touchingly surreal..

a really fascinating read... and quite well writ... enjoyed it a lot..
 — Mongrol

A good angry poem about love gone bad. Does not disappoint
 — sanakruz

The first verse got me laughing hard.  The whole poem is fun.
 — Isabelle5

Curious and oddly lovely.
 — WordsAndMe

curiosity is invariably and unfailingly a killer
.
.
.
 — lysandre

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today i nearly wrote a poem about a cat so i thought i would click on this and am glad that i did so. pondering the complexities of the natural habits and habitual digressions of man is nothing new...but i like the tone, the brutal honesty found here. more blunt than brutal, but the spiders in the corner are hiding and my mind is all aflutter.
 — DeformedLion

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