that ease…more like it
mestinks, May-bee quiet not –
I leave, eat at that.
21 Jan 08
Rated 9 (7.3) by 1 users.
Inactive (2): 3, 9, 10
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5-7-5 alright; i like the words play, ease-is, may bee-maybe, eat-it
very cryptic the message otherwise
rated 10 for the melody.
keep up, wanna read more haikus:)
thank you, nisetru. yes, a message is encrypted there.
to the other unknowns: thank you too.
Can you post the original version again please to see how they compare.
it is the original version. i'm not joining gnormal's contest but
okay i'll post here the once very simple idea:
that is more like it
methinks, maybe quite not (so) --
i leave it at that.
all by the same author.
at least one thing i really really think should be done here is to add a comma after eat
thanks, chuckle_s, but putting a comma after eat will alter the message entirely.
plus i already have one of those frog purses, hehe.
will the message be altered
it's really cold today and you know what the weatherman always advises
"I leave, eat at that." and "I leave, eat, at that." tell different stories, the first one being based on true events. and yeah, it's rather cold today.
but maybe i'll reconsider after some sleep.
hi, chuckle_s. i think it will stay the way
it is for good. thanks for the suggestions.
The "season" of this is a winter of your discontent? Ugg, sorry about that. Nicely done ... 17 with a bullet.
I don't even know what this piece refers to, but I don't care because the spark is here, and now is here. Thanks for the read. 9.
thank you for reading, VeroniCat.
there is, if any, only the slightest
discontent in the timeless eternal
experience i tried to capture in
i live by and thrive on it every
single day and my tongue just
can't get rid of the sweetest taste