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THAT haiku
fractalcore

that ease…more like it
 1
mestinks, May-bee quiet not –
 2
I leave, eat at that.
 3



written 1/15/08

21 Jan 08

Rated 9 (7.3) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 3, 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

not
 — unknown

5-7-5 alright; i like the words play, ease-is, may bee-maybe, eat-it
very cryptic the message otherwise
rated 10 for the melody.
keep up, wanna read more haikus:)
 — nisetru

thank you, nisetru. yes, a message is encrypted there.
 — unknown

to the other unknowns: thank you too.
 — unknown

Can you post the original version again please to see how they compare.
 — unknown

it is the original version. i'm not joining gnormal's contest but
okay i'll post here the once very simple idea:

that is more like it
methinks, maybe quite not (so) --
i leave it at that.

all by the same author.
 — unknown

'sokay...
at least one thing i really really think should be done here is to add a comma after eat
 — chuckle_s

thanks, chuckle_s, but putting a comma after eat will alter the message entirely.
 — unknown

plus i already have one of those frog purses, hehe.
 — unknown

will the message be altered
or
multiplied
it's really cold today and you know what the weatherman always advises
 — chuckle_s

"I leave, eat at that." and "I leave, eat, at that." tell different stories, the first one being based on true events. and yeah, it's rather cold today.
 — unknown

but maybe i'll reconsider after some sleep.
 — unknown

hi, chuckle_s. i think it will stay the way
it is for good. thanks for the suggestions.
: )
 — fractalcore

The "season" of this is a winter of your discontent?  Ugg, sorry about that.  Nicely done ... 17 with a bullet.

I don't even know what this piece refers to, but I don't care because the spark is here, and now is here.  Thanks for the read. 9.
 — VeroniCat

thank you for reading, VeroniCat.
there is, if any, only the slightest
discontent in the timeless eternal
experience i tried to capture in
the piece.

i live by and thrive on it every
single day and my tongue just
can't get rid of the sweetest taste
imaginable ever.

: )
 — fractalcore

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