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Sealing Wax
larrylark

We were so poor my mum used wax
 1
from my ears to make a candle,
 2
while we took turns heating hands
 3
on its single flame.
 4
 
 
They couldn't afford to give me a name
 5
so for years I never knew who I was.
 6
Eons passed the door, while the fire
 7
stored in my belly grew.
 8
 
 
It became too ludicrously late
 9
to make no-one into someone
 10
so what couldn't be heard, I observed,
 11
peering into the dying flame,
 12
murmuring the name nobody claimed.
 13

24 Jan 08

Rated 10 (7.1) by 4 users.
Active (4): 2, 10
Inactive (20): 1, 1, 1, 1, 3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

this is my favourite by you. i really loved the images in the first stanza.
 — raskolniikov

Dear raskolnikov

You have blown in on a lyrical wind and become my friend for life.

Larry drifting Lark
 — larrylark

i must agree this is most excellent. keep up the good work.
 — listen

I don't know why, but I though of 'ceiling' wax.
Anyway, despite my idiotic thoughts,
I truly loved this poem!  I've never read anything like it.
Whether it was punctuation or just style, I did have a few stumbles, so I had to read this about 4 times before I loved it.

thank you for writing.
 — jenakajoffer

yes, quite splendid.
 — DeformedLion

wonderful.
10-faved.
: )
 — fractalcore

good poem, larry moth to the flame lark.
 — varun

Weird concept, but good weird. 8
 — IamDave

The first two lines made me laugh out loud....:-)  Still grinning now! Love the use of "ludicrously" - it's very under-used and here works to great effect. The last few lines had my head aching trying to work out who was doing what.....were you watching the flame? The name was in the flame? Where was the name? Whatever, I love this....very entertaining and mysterious.
 — smugzy

well
too ludicrously late
too ludicrously late
too ludicrously late
what does this mean???
i suppose that there is the possibility of being ludicrously late, but not overly ludicrously late? an acceptable level of ludicrously late?
as soon as i read it i stopped. stopped dead and thought, wow that really sounds weird. i gave it another 3 goes and no change. it's a nice poem and all, but yeah. i even tried the define words function to see perhaps there's some obscure reference there, and the contextual example it provided was actually relevant to the poem!
cool!
 — chuckle_s

I'm probably just being dense, but this seems more like a riddle than a poem.
 — xixtas

the first two stanzas made me think of oliver twist or huck finn, and of an overwhelming poorness. but then i realized it's more, with the 3rd stanza and its expression of a sad incapacity of change and watching himself die. i like the metaphors. actually, the entire poem.
 — nisetru

I suppose there does become a time when it becomes 'ludicrously late' to leave a child without a name - I think that's very well expressed. In fact the whole poem is a really well-constructed and finished piece - I love it.
 — opal

i came back to pc for this.

smile!
midare
 — midare

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  What a wonderful beginning!  I can just picture some kid bent over a table while the mom dug into his ears!  

Oh, my, the rest is rather sad and tragic.  I don't know who the writer is yet but I am amazed at the creativity.  
 — Isabelle5

Ah, I should have recognized your voice.  
 — Isabelle5

l5 i like it
 — unknown

the imagery here is gorgeous and vivid.
 — shakeit

Hi raskolnikov

The idea came from a game people play here in the North of England about who was the poorest when they were a kid and is influenced by a poem by Charles Simic whose title escapes me.

Cheers

Larry we were so poor me ate invisible food when we were small Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Listen

I will try my very hardest, honestly

Larry beads of perspiration Lark
 — larrylark

Hi Jenakajoffer

One of the things that inspired this poem was staring into a candle at Christmas and watching the smoke drift up and along the ceiling, so you are in the right area.

Larry candle in the wind Lark
 — larrylark

Like everything but L11
 — unknown

Gorgeously written and such a beautiful concept/image created! I am in awe.
 — Porcelain_Lo

Hi unknown

you were right about L11, thanks for your observation.

Larry
 — larrylark

I'll go get the Q-Tips.  :-)  Wow, Larry...this one, for me, is in the "Pig Speak" vain.  It's so powerful and you put it right out there.  I'm a big fan of this style of your writing.  It just kicks you in the balls from the first line to the last.  I dig L's 7-8's "fire stored in my belly grew."  That, in itself, says so much.  As always, you remain one of my favorite poets on the face of the planet.  Thanks 4 that.  Love, Starr (who's too lazy and tired after work to even bother logging in.)  
 — unknown

I mean "Pig Speak" vein.  I spelled it like someone who's "vain."  Ma bad!  Wanted to come back and correct my spelling like a good doobie.  Nite.  :-)  -Starr
 — unknown

We were so poor my mum used wax  1
from my ears to make a candle, <<<

This doesn't work for me.
It's something that is too far out to be believed.
Akin to a bad metaphor that leaves one thinking,
"how strange"

Your poem appears rushed and makes no sense
even in the metaphorical sense.

Knowing oneself has little to do with a name and
besides it's utterly impossible to not have a name.
It's both illegal and too far fetched.

I would guess this poem took all of five minutes
to write.  In essence it's a few loose thoughts
that make little or no sense with very little
poetic integrity.

I'd keep the idea, throw the poem away, and start again.

best,
andy spaschak
 — ruredernot

Hi Andy

I already did.

Larry bonfire of his vanities lark
 — larrylark

Hi DL

Thanks for the splendid, I took a photo of it but it didn't know what it was.

Larry chancer Lark
 — larrylark

Dear starr

If i could express in words how much your continued support means to me then I would.

larry searching for truffles lark
 — larrylark

Ending is nice... I'm not sure about the start of this poem
 — inc_reign

This is excellent--i just can't stop reading it.
 — PaulS

hey, i really like this. well done!
 — unknown

Dear PaulS

I recommend that you extend your reading beyond the song of lark

Larry beano Lark
 — larrylark

Hi unknown

Thanks for the comment

Larry pleased as punch Lark
 — larrylark

i dont buy this. but i dont know why.

i dont mean literally. im not stupid, i
just don't buy it, s'all.
 — jumpoline

Dear Jumpoline

Its not for sale

Larry selling plate Lark
 — larrylark

ludicrously (L9) flat out doesn't fit the diction of the rest of the poem. take it out.
 — joshcoops

josh, do it: "lew-de-cruss-lee late" and imagine the voice got it from a jerry springer comment.
 — joey

Hi joshcoops

NO!

Larry
 — larrylark

ok
 — ptriumvirate

Dear Ptriupferit

I'll take it

Larry not proud lark
 — larrylark

very Charles Simic.
 — unknown

watch out. when you grow uop she'll make a toupee out of your earwigs

??

sorry. not read th thread. and only made ti htru stanza one.

gooseberry jam is my middle name
pram, my last
 — unknown

i've missed this, larry.
good to read this again, hahaha...

:p
 — fractalcore

I wax and i wane and I'm always insane

Larry nameless Laark
 — larrylark

Love L5.  Lovely and somewhat heartbreaking Mr. Lark.
 — sybarite

I was always heartbroken. I learned it off my mother

Larry sympathy for the devil Lark
 — larrylark

haha beautiful lies.
 — unknown

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