poetry critical

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Ode to Nihilistic Powerlessness
vik

Oh, how useless my attempts are now.
 1
The fire of procrastination burns this fragile time,
 2
Ground to pieces and cursed by the demons of my mind.
 3
Yet I, instead of ending this dazzling inferno eating away my life –
 4
A flame that is consuming all the trophies that I might otherwise receive –
 5
I sit here idly in front of the small black box that is the catalyst in this reaction.
 6
 
 
I am loitering in the realm of wastefulness, dull decadence;
 7
The land where I am the mere puppet controlled by the monsters ascended from hell,
 8
Bound by the rules of psychology, the laws of science,
 9
I am tortured, but unable to release myself from their chocking hold.
 10
There is nothing to be done – no way to disobey the human nature,
 11
I am overwhelmed by the bright colours of a goblin’s nihilism.
 12
 
 
I am powerless to change my own will as a rock is powerless to float,
 13
One of Twain’s iron engines turns without end, wearing its life away.
 14
No more in control then a drop of water seeing its reflection in the mirror.
 15
I too am incapable of changing my course, instead enjoying my short flight to the ground.
 16
The flight has no wings and its destiny is to end in the emptiness it came from.
 17
I sit here idly until the colourful flames of goblins turn my time to rust.
 18

Another poem I wrote for English class. It was probably 1:00am when I started it and all I could think about was how screwed I am because I was procrastinating all day.

Edit: The lines look messed up in the formatting of this site... :(

10 Feb 08

Rated 10 (9.7) by 1 users.
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Comments:

i don't think anyone should ever be forced to write poetry. it bruises the soul and the creativity, turns it into commodity. look how screwed the rating system is here? people will actually say to you, "well, none of your poems are in the top ten"... which is their right to say, but it worries me, cause the top ten are mostl kind of crowd pleasers and easy to read.
 — joey

Nicely said, Joey.  I don't think I'd ever agreed with you more- or had without realising it.
 — cualquier

Haha if I was never forced to write poetry, then I'd never realize how interesting it is in the first place :o

I think that there is no way of determining the "top 10" poems because everyone likes different things. It would make sense if every person could choose their favourite poems and display them in their profile.. but wait that's pointless because no one else will understand what you feel when you read those poems. I guess poetry is a very personal thing...
 — vik

this is heavy, but poetry is an invented thing by very verbal people, back in the day... 3500 BC... and the only people that did it were the ones that "could do it". there's a strong poetry movement in RAP now, where the text is important again, people writing against an enemy and for a friend, and to friends... very similar to how the Illiad was written, and why. our english poetry came out of songs, yes, but became real in the 16th century, and was written by only a few people -- hardly anyone could write more than an office memo type thing -- and hardly anyone was subtle enough to read a poem. very small audience. poetry got to be a big deal later, as a vehicle for nationalism and the assertion of middle class values, but even then, only a few people out of everybody could write it or read it. -- when religion started taking a back seat to newly realized democratic values, insecure people started demanding of poetry that it should be like a church sermon, and project moral values and fine sentiment. when freedom to write whatever poetry might be, people like ezra pound broke away from the religious and moral message, in imitation of modern painting's breaking from religious icon and image, and poetry suddenly became the voice and image of the poet instead. every poem is of the poet, and every poet is different from any other, but it's a strange thing to say that "anyone's a poet", since writing poetry involves the highest level of verbal ability, which means only that the poet has the highest need for poetry and can always identify and create it, when most others simply see anything which doesn't look like "prose" as a poem. you either have it or not, and most people have something like it until they're 24 or so. after that age you have to really work hard to invent a poetry voice and form for yourself, that what? that doesn't sound like you're trying not to write a song. it's ok to write a song.
 — joey

A poem to song to poem suffices to an extent for me.  I have ringing in my ears anyway.
 — cualquier

But, I'll go against my comment a while back and prove myself a hypocrite- not everyone is a poet, no.  But they (whoever "they" might be) has the capability for it should they attempt to exploit it- I can't deny them that, not as if I would ever be able to.
 — cualquier

they have*.  Initially had something else in mind to write.  Sorry for that.
 — cualquier

Wow... Thanks for the history lesson :) I never knew any of that. It's really cool.
 — vik

well, they can try to run a sub-three mile too, but what of it?
 — joey

well, it's just my understanding of the history of poetry, but for sure get a second opinion, cause poets and artists always and only understand the world through their own creative consciousness. poetbill can probably fill in what i left out.
 — joey

And that's what irks me, honestly.  To actually be told that you misunderstand something or be lectured of the meaning in something- either small or as large as the world.  (I understand I'm sort of butting into this conversation, but by curiosity [and I really veer away from that word now] or desire [this one too] I find this topic irresistible).  Joey, you really should speak more (or write through a computer screen, whichever works).  
 — cualquier

Procrastination.. lol.. I know the feeling. This poem gets extremely interesting around L8 and 9... Those two lines are quite profound if you really ponder them. There are descriptions I especially like, such as "The flight has no wings", "Twain’s iron engines" and "bright colours of a goblin’s nihilism". Why are you powerless to change your own will though? Lol Because you assert that you are? ;)
 — Amaranth

well, really, cualq, what if it was in French and you dinn't know it, but that it somehow looked like english to you and you commented on some strange sounding text ("jene says pass the something...")? and isn't each poem the exact language of the poet -- a grammar and syntax of and for that poem only? and that we can't know the poem other than how we understand it, but that the poem Is the poet, and we can only understand the poet through the poem? i wrote "naked" and almost anything has been said of it since it was first read and published, and then posted here. imagine if someone thought it was supposed to be about a strip club? i mean, there are people who read and commented on it thinking it was about some place like that. i could only say to them that they'd misinterpreted the poem... and it didn't matter to me at all if they had, because they were looking for another kind of poem than mine. i didn't need to take their critique into account.
 — joey

joey, I agree.

haha Nice use of brackets, cualquier :P

Amaranth, the reference to Twain was about "What is man?" (http://www.infomotions.com/etexts/gutenberg/dirs/7/70/70.htm )
It really had an impact on me :o , but sadly not positive. It was enlightening, but the truth sucks :(
The answer to your question of why I'm powerless to change my own will is in that... I don't know what to call it... philosophical dialogue?
 — vik

I understand that.  It just bothers me when someone doesn't realise it themselves that what they would be lecturing is really the foggy window they see the landscape through from their skyscraper (or let's hope it's a skyscraper by the time/age they are at to be able to lecture someone).  I've encountered on more than one occasion people who don't realise that- even if a person is an artist or not, or even indoctrinated in some way, the indoctrination would only work to the extent to which the person has the capacity for it.  There is some sort of general schema for things to be placed [or forced] into.  But, as for understanding the poet through the work; yes, I agree (though in some cases we're more limited than in others because of the various persona's the poet can include)- though, what about the people who strive to understand the poet but can't get past the poem? Honestly, I dislike giving interpretations, but I also have a tendency to be heavily metaphorical in things I write [and currently speak, as well; it's a plague].  It seems like such a stupid question that I'm losing the point of what I'm asking in the first place- so to dull it down- what would be your opinions on interpretation for the reader if the poet was asked them?
 — cualquier

i like the tone of this. keep writing.
: )
 — fractalcore

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