poetry critical

online poetry workshop



575 for three, to one
gnormal

ice leapt between you
 1
this maid- our five breasts stiffen-
 2
soon we are melting
 3

the leaping ice has returned- just trying to find the best place for it.

14 Jan 04

Rated 10 (6.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 3

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I love breasts in odd numbers.
 — dweasel

I totally don't understand this.
 — unknown

I don't totally understand this
 — unknown

Gnorm - you really must just post your stuff and sit back. If folk get it, then fine. If they don't, then fine. Forget the wafflery. You are very talented. Let your talent dangle without dongles. Your FINGER poem was the most crass example of your donglery. Let the donkeys turn unaided into donkey Kongs. Let the meek rise up and walk without scaffold to your feet. Go gag the goose that lays your golden eggs.

Five breasts ... eh?!!

Have you ever thought of marketing G-norm Specs?

 — unknown

25, or six to four

Seriously, nice job. The punctuation adds so much to modern poetry. I don't know your feelings on the matter, but if you do agree, I'd recommend adding a hyphen at the end of l2. An aphasic reading left me questioning the "leaping" aspect, but you're the poet. It feels like that second syllable is the crux of the poem. You could say so many different things with it. Maybe I'll just write you an email.
-zep
 — zepplin42

thank you.
what choice do i have but to sit back?
a man has one breast, as in,
"i held the injured puppy to my breast."
 — unknown

so that means someone only has one boob?
 — unknown

again, boob is not the only meaning of breast.
women are not the only ones with breasts.
 — unknown

i dint undrstand a thing :s...
 — unknown

i actually got this one. look out, here i come!
 — unknown

ok then.......i totally don't understand this
 — XDarkHeartX

i dont get this.
 — unknown

Recent Best (expand)
    0.312s