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Two tongues speak a common
but two minds mumble
one yin and another yang---
I am confused!
New red they say is black  
and new black is red.  
They are already mixed up.  
I am confused!  
Apparently, cute is not small  
but is for Webster.  
Now what is cute?  
I am confused!  
You said you're coming  
but I heard no breath.  
Maybe just enough reason  
not to remain confused.
***still dedicated to the soul that I believe can never be mine.***

17 Feb 08

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hmm...i like the way you constructed
line 1 -- you could affix a hyphen there
at the end and line 3 could also use any
punctuation of your choice.

has it ever occurred to you that "All is One
in Love" means neither gain nor loss of
the Soul or soul itself?

nice poem, happymole.
: )
 — fractalcore

You mean love is like a mixed veggie dish?
 — happymole

"New red they say is black  5
and new black is red.  6
They are already mixed up.  7
I am confused!  8
Apparently, cute is not small  9
but is for Webster.  10
Now what is cute?  11
I am confused!  12
You said you're coming  13
but I heard no breath.  14
Maybe just enough reason  15
not to remain confused. "
 — happymole

while the first stanza can stand on
its own, the original 3-stanza poem
has its own charm.
: )
 — fractalcore

Now it's back to its original form.  Thanks for the suggestion fractalcore! :)
 — happymole

nice to see it again.
: )
 — fractalcore

the 'I am confused!' repeats?... Oh dear
 — unknown

Oh hi unk...so you mean that my deliberate redundancy is fatal even if that line is the beauty of the poem (I believe)?  Well, I think I can always make a revision...shall I just forget about the 3x-mentioned line "I am confused" and maintain "3-line stanzas"?

Thanks. :)
 — happymole

nah, that poem is a unique expression of you, don't change it for my sake
 — unknown

I love this. quite lovely. between repetition, simplicity, and imagery, it definitely does a wonderful job of expressing.
 — Porcelain_Lo

Thank you so much, Porcelain Lo.  :)
 — happymole

still a nice re-read.
: )
 — fractalcore