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Milton Bradley Goes To McDonalds.

Welcome to land of the Free,
Milton Bradley-- McDonald families,
planning middle class atrocities
separating haves and have nots,
sneakers cover holes in socks
blood clots and fox trots,
happiness from local liquor mart
waltzing through parking lots
blissful steps of ignorance
blowing off extremities
slipping on Big Macs dropped upon the floor.

13 Mar 08

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reminds me of a Big Mac on the bathroom floor...
 — unknown

hahah, yeah, thats what I was going for.
 — TCooks

someone take a stab at this?
 — TCooks

rather trite
 — unknown

The last line is particularly annoying...how is there a line to a dream? dreams aren't some disney world ride...or maybe they are. But landmines? surely not. Shouldn't it be something more like the ink they print the money with....
 — DeformedLion

lion, you couldn't be more right, you really have a strong grasp on the point i really lose "steam"  your input is appreciated, i am workin on a better kicker, truth be told it was a much longer piece i condensed down to one strophe, overall a failure im afraid.

thanks for the read.

unknown- ok how could it be better, if i knew it wasn't trite it wouldn't be on the site.
 — TCooks

reach for unique thoughts/images that speak to the reader
 — unknown

I love the concept around this.  Why is there always a 'Caution Wet Floor' sign up somewhere but your shoes always seem to stick....
 — addagirl

I really like this... partly because I hate McDonalds with a fiery passion.

Especially: ""happiness from local liquor mart/waltzing through parking lots" and the last line.
 — andyleggett