poetry critical

online poetry workshop

perfect imperfections

outside the fields
are golden although
there is no warmth.
the light has awoken
me too early again
and you remain
in a slumber.
you look perfect
with or without me.
and i don't really mind.

25 Mar 08

Rated 8.3 (8) by 3 users.
Active (3): 8, 10
Inactive (1): 7, 8

(define the words in this poem)

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short but strong
 — poetbill

strong and weak
 — unknown

hehe that is the way love is lost, cause they don't communicate, one thinks that the other thinks that the other did that the other may or not, i know my truth, that is all i need, is it actually.
i liked the poem.
 — unknown

neither do i.
: )
 — fractalcore

blah blah blah
 — unknown

not really enough to this
 — unknown

'outside the fields' means anything outside of the fields, so this is a cubist poem, where you're both inside and outside at once. i think maybe you need a comma after 'outside' cause the rest of this is just norman rockwell flat realistic.
 — cadmium