poetry critical : poem

the ENFJ is a 4-time INTJ

this	1
cosmic pause	2
threatens	3
beckons insanity	4
hovers over	5
receding	6
waves	7

in	8
raging waters	9
high five high fire	10
inhale infinity	11
exhale forever	12
whatever	13
what	14
else	15

or	16
else	17

you	18
and/or	19
me	20

did you	21
forget you	22
sleep a lot	23
not me but	24

i	25
off-ten dew a lot	26
of things sigh-malt-aye-news-lei	27
preferably as such	28
suck i	29
do	30
i	31

oh my	32
idiosyncrasy idiocy	33
holding raising me by	34
my tail	35
my	36

telling saying	37
the smartest things	38
that ever hit my damn-found-dead ears	39
in a trillion years	40

vibe-ray-shuns	41
that buoy these heavy bones	42
to the surf-is evade	43
extinction	44

and face the fact	45
that sublimation is	46
quite simply	47
materialization	48
exposed in	49
sheer	50
Om	51
bar	52
ass	53
mint	54

written a few hours ago

30 Mar 08

Rated 10 (7.8) by 3 users.

Active (3): 3, 8, 10, 10
Inactive (15): 1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)

(5 users consider this poem a favorite)

6Spade
CrudeEcstasy
fishwife
madderhatter
nisetru

Add A Comment:

Comments:

Doesn't make any sense to me. Perhaps it's a private joke. Whatever, it's not my cup of tea.
— unknown

fractalcore always deserves a ten.
— raskolniikov

ey, rask! thanks for faving.
: )
— fractalcore

1st unk: i say it deserved to be writ and read more than
rated but i'd be equally happy to have a 1 as with a 10.

thanks for stopping by.
: )
— fractalcore

2nd unk: it's my six-six-sixth cup of tea and the
title is the private joke.

thanks for stopping by.
: )
— fractalcore

quite the contrary, unk. the piece -- or poem, if it happens to be one --
is more important than the rating and your reading it is more than a
compliment.

thank you again.
: )
— fractalcore

and thank you for sticking around.
: )
— fractalcore

and slovenly peter would look good on you in
a polite way.
: )
— fractalcore

sleep is good, as is reading, as is walking, (apart from beautiful); i love l11-40; "high five high fire" is funny; also, i love this double construction, 'surf-is'.

:)great work, fractalcore
— unknown

thanks, unk, but why do you find "high five high fire" funny?
: )
— fractalcore

unk? yooohoooo...
: )
— fractalcore

madderhatter, thanks for faving.

nisetru, thank you so much as well.
i presume you were the last nknown?
no reason to be shy now.
: )
— fractalcore

i don't know why, but i love this poem.
— fishwife

thank you so much, fishwife.

and unk, too.
: )
— fractalcore

It's not my taste but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the creativity that went into its making. That's quite an appropriate title, btw. Its a little weird to look at but it works well with the piece and lends weight to the last stanza. Nicely done.

Curious though - have you had an MBTI assessment? I've read many of your poems and my guess would be that you are an ENFJ type. Just a guess. Am I close?
— unknown

ey, unk. very sweet of you. would you be nice enough to
flaunt your username though? i have a hunch i've faved
a lot of your works -- that i'm pretty sure of as i have this
penchant for faving and your poetry couldn't have been
spared in the process.

ENFJ was the result of under-assessing myself the first
time i took the test for the job i have right now. i felt they
wouldn't know how to deal with certain personality types
but were obliged to anyway. i'd say i have almost the same
degree of being an ENFJ and an INTJ but the 1:4 odds tell
me otherwise.

but after every restful sleep i'm forced to believe i'm just like
any other ordinary joe. i don't know how the odds go in that
case though.

what's type are you?
: )
— fractalcore

i mean: which type are you?

sorry, i haven't been sleeping well again.
: )
— fractalcore

umm.. sorry to say that I can't post my name and I can't be sure of what type I am because I haven't been assessed yet but I think I'm probably an ISFP. I don't even know how long it would take to be assessed but I'll let you know when I find out.
— unknown

i think you can try http://typelogic.com
: )
— fractalcore

Thanks for the link - apparantly I was a little off. I'm an INFJ.
— unknown

*apparently
— unknown

that's nice. you can either be ENFJ's pal or
INTJ's companion.
: )
— fractalcore

i inherently don't trust this poem, the way the words bump you along makes me think that the author perhaps has nothing to say,

and i don't like the title.
— DeformedLion

DeformedLion, this is a mixture of jokes -- the
title being the only one -- and truth[s]...some
lines i wrote 13 years ago. i can do another footnote
just for you but i'm really pressed with time now.
you've got better poems than this and it's not really
that complicated and i know you're keen enough to
shred it.

thank you always for taking the time.
: )
— fractalcore

i am tired. it is probably fine, really...L16-20 bug me quite a bit though.

i'll give you a 10 though because you seem to always deserve 1 . ha. blah.
— DeformedLion

welp, sorry about those lines. they're there as a lump
in the throat but are an essential part of the day this
was penned.

that's about all you gotta hear for now, hehe.
: )
— fractalcore

and 1's just perfect, thank you.
: )
— fractalcore

be not ass:essed but be ass:pired and perky too
— AlchemiA

Hi Frac:  I love your play on words/puns, etc..., however, the message here seems unclear to me overall.  Don't get me wrong-it's extremely creative and you make great use of white space and temper the wordings like blown glass, but the final result (in my opinion) leaves that blown glass caving in and hardening but in all the wrong places.  This would fare really well in a poetry slam.  It's got a sound that's commanding in a live setting as opposed to in text that leaves the reader scratching his/her head saying, "What the f...k?"  Your style continues to develop in its own special way.  I like it.  I just don't love it (this poem.)
— starr

hi, starr. a great honor to have you here.

i was caught between whether to really pen this piece or not but
[t]here it is now and i couldn't imagine any other way i could've
possibly pulled it off without sounding phony. the title somewhat
alludes to what might be a natural response like "so what?" or
"so what the puke is your puking point?" while the message[s]
is/are fairly concrete but might be rather embarrassed and/or
half-cocky.

it maybe true that getting the point across is a burden on and a
responsibility of the author more than the reader...and i guess i will
have to work on that area even harder.

thank you so much for your poetry.
: )
— fractalcore

outerspace, welcome to my warped world
and thanks for stopping by.

hope you can find your way back home.
: )
— fractalcore

'cosmic pause', 'beckons insanity', 'in raging waters'- ideas like these are weak and tired, and have been milked countless times before

reads suspiciously like alot of other stuff ive found on this site

cant believe it hit no.1

'belongs on the bathroom walls of a bulemic cubist' hehe funny
— unknown

yeah, well, the lines you mentioned are passe to
me as well. i wrote them 13 years ago, dude, but
they're juxtaposed pretty well and should be read
with the rest of the piece.

did it hit #1? that's puking unbelievalble 'coz all i
could see was a "1" coming.

see, that's the funny part. i never aspire for that
erogenous spot where i can only laugh at myself.
what's funnier is it doesn't matter and will never
ever ruin my day as it is a more cliche and emptier
move than what you deem to be. and the funniest
part? hmm, usher me t'wards your poem, dude.
i promise i'll give it a fair shot.

thanks for stopping by.
: )
— fractalcore

and maybe you're right, unk.

||29-31 should be read as "i suck, don't i?"
there you go.
: )
— fractalcore

you make me laugh,
and y0ur titLes mAk mE BUg-eYed!
haha.

i loved lines 37-40.
your wordling inventions are genious
and entertaining.
=-)
— jenakajoffer

thanks so much, jenny.

i wonder why some people find
this comical. well, i laugh at myself
very often, hehe. i'm such a big joke.
: )
— fractalcore

they find it funny because of the style
i think.
— jenakajoffer

Before I could even try, I've already forgotten...but I guess my type is the same as that of Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Britney Spears and Michael Jackson.

Personality tests are everchanging anyway.

This doesn't work for me:  sublimation=materialization.  In what sense?
— happymole

hi again, jen.

this has a fairly funny facade, of course.
don't you think comedians are the most
serious persons?

i ain't no comedian anyway.
: )
— fractalcore

hi, happymole.

i think you are an ISFP, a cohort to ENFJ and
a supplement to INTJ.

well, these results can't be accurate all the time.
at best, they are an approximation of how we
behave or how other people perceive us.

the last strophe is like I = not-I.
: )
— fractalcore

"fractalcore. i have yet to find a poem of yours that displays any maturity of thought.
this conceptual piece best belongs on the bathroom walls of a bulemic cubist."

so the guy is working on technique.  people should.
otherwise their technique would never display maturity.
important things to write about
will not fail to show themselves
to fractalcore outerspace.
carry on fractalcore!
— gnormal

thanks for the comeback, outerspace.

i take it you've spent a very long time here...
on earth. isn't it amazing that you're nowhere
else but here at the very moment? do you know
why? i bet a thinker like you would know the
answer by now. isn't your username some sort
of [a] longing for an elsewhere, sort of an escape?
this is the absolute escape we're looking for and
sorry it's the best the Universe -- simply put as
yourself -- can offer, i.e. one very long and endless
thought. have you thought about that?

i bet you have.

thanks for taking the time.
: )
— fractalcore

gnormal!

such a great honor, sir! that was a rather grand move
from a great PC icon to come to good-for-nothing
fractalcore's rescue, hehe. it was a little unnecessary
though -- just a little -- but thanks. hope you'll drop
by more often with a username so i can learn more
and do better with my attempts.

i might've said this in many different ways already but,
again, thank you for the poetry...

and the surprise visit.
: )
— fractalcore

Me gusta mucho
— CrudeEcstasy

CrudeEcstasy, muchos gracias.
: )
— fractalcore

how 'bout this one, unky?
suck-ass poetry as well?
: )
— fractalcore

I'm staggered that poetry like this can be so highly rated. If I ever need to self-induce a coma then I guess I should be very grateful for your offering.
— unknown

hmm, i'm staggered why a wonderful person like you doesn't
even have a name. is that a t[h]ree you've just planted on here?
i whole-heartedly accept thee offer a coma i now try to comprehend
hmm, now, what, is, a, comma?

thanks for stopping by, unk.
; )
— fractalcore

6Spade
CrudeEcstasy
fishwife

thanks for faving.
hope to hear your comments.
: )
— fractalcore

please keep experimenting with the language. it works well, your style. those are my favorite types, it would seem, the ones where you use words unquestionably.

line two almost sounds like "comic pause." keep doing that as well.

and good work with "surf-is."
— listen

hi, listen.

good to have you back.
i've been busy doing stuff other
than poetry and might have to
start all over again relearning
the ropes.

appreciate your precious time
as always.

: )
— fractalcore

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