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Observateur
ptriumvirate

Light.
 1
Clouds in arabesque position, craving your,
 2
Attention.
 3
 
 
Pause.
 4
Vivid capture of your face, mocking the,
 5
Beautifuls.
 6

14 Apr 08

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
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Comments:

Delicate and soft. Loves it.
 — themolly

sweet and light.
 — raskolniikov

Why the comma after your, line 2 and after the, line 5?  Not needed and it is distracting.

I can't find a relation to the title.  I like the clouds doing ballet.  
 — Isabelle5

Isabelle5, the reason why I placed a comma there is because I wanted a feel of suspension. The title is somewhat off, can't think of any. I chose arabesque instead of ballet because it is more specific and vivid.
 — ptriumvirate

;)
 — ptriumvirate

Agreed, last line perfect wrap up !
 — Caducus

nice.

: )
 — fractalcore

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