| When god went for a smoke
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trochee
| The stage was set. | 1 |
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By the greatest artist outdoors. | 2 |
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Trees, beautiful rivers, angels with genitals, | 3 |
tulips of virtues gardens furniture. | 4 |
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And he went for a smoke for aramaic light years: | 5 |
The earth turned bedlam with humans and cannibals, | 6 |
drifting the roads of want and submissions. | 7 |
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Lingering with the perfume of distance and fascisms | 8 |
with impending and contrived compass of religions. | 9 |
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The stage is set for a detailed pandemonium | 10 |
since god is out for a smoke. | 11 |
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19 Apr 08 |
Rated 9 (8.8) by 5 users.
Active (5): 1, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (5): 7, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(68 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
surprising line breaks and filled with intriguing details. Line 8 is truly astonishing. I don't see how this could be any better. Your diction is so precise and elegant.
V
— unknown
goes so well with The Unredeemed.
nice work.
— listen
Sudden changes in the tone of the poem at the end brings a jolt to the poem.
Line breaks are nice.
— panicbutton
Thank you V.
Yes. i didnt realize until i read your comment listen. it does.
Thanks for reading panicbutton.
— trochee
Interesting Topic... "When God went for a Smoke"
It alone leaves a lot of room for the imagination.. ;)
— timsworld
Never knew that angels have genitals. :)
I like the way you describe god in L2 - the greatest artist outdoors.
— happymole
thanks a lot for reading tims and happymole.
— trochee
shouldn't God be capitalized?
Love the ideas in here.
— themolly
wow troch,
this is very good.
i was captured by the genitals
gave a laugh,
they do have jewels!
have to say the abundance in plurals became much
but i understand your usage,
however, could something be done in L4? (where my mouth really has trouble).
i may also suggest a word tweak in L5 as it takes away from the title, and the last line. too much "smoke" if ya kWIm.
=-)
— jenakajoffer
thanks molly. nope.. for me God is god.
thanks happymole for the fav.
hey jen thanks again.
i dont think so this poem has come out the way i wanted.
i think its a lil under-developed.
— trochee
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