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Prototypical Sin Condition
themolly

Spiteful
 1
seems the Universe
 2
in these days of instant karma.
 3
 
 
Tragedies abound,
 4
the lashings for lessons forgotten
 5
in the haste for actualization.
 6
 
 
Typical situations,
 7
all too obvious.
 8
This plot of ironic horror
 9
could have been written
 10
for Adam and Eve.
 11

22 Apr 08

Rated 9 (7.6) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 9, 10
Inactive (14): 1, 1, 3, 6, 6, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

Huh? Copied out of my brain! Google if you like. It's all mine.
 — themolly

Oh! Duh. Yeah, not too sure of the title. As close as I could get to what I wanted in the craze I was in when this came out.  Any ideas?
 — themolly

Iron? I'm wanting to convey that the perceived spite I write about is part of the human condition...as old as dirt.
 — themolly

"sin condition"
 — unknown

Nice one. How about "Bitter Bitten Apple"
 — grneyeddevil

sorry, that was me with the "sin" idea
but i really like that "bite with the worms".

nice spite.
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

"prototypical malice" "resounding spite" I'm not sure either of those are good.
but perhaps they're less over-used than the one currently being used.
Nice job though. I understand writing in a rage makes it hard to think of little things like title's.
 — Porcelain_Lo

adam and eve it.
 — raskolniikov

A thank you to all helpers. I'm satisfied with the title (for now). I'm going to structure next. Watch for changes! Thanks again-
 — themolly

breaks............done! They're a little predictable, eh? Any advice?
 — themolly

oh, beautiful. You have nailed it with your astute edits. Your title is a tease; at first scan, I saw "skin" instead of "sin." ( same difference, or almost, almost!)

These line breaks are ice-skate-blade sharp.
 — banditfemme

Alright! Complete with title now. I love your mind themolly!
 — grneyeddevil

Awwwwwwwwww. Thanks bandit and devil! You're too too kind!
 — themolly

I like it. Especially the last stanza. It really pulls the rest of it together.  
 — makeoshimi

Thank you.
 — themolly

wow.
 — unknown

Thank You
 — themolly

the eternal recurrence of the whirling dance of the DNA prance -- ironic horror is expletively splendid -- themolly is realEYEsed
 — AlchemiA

awww shucks :)
 — themolly

LASHING OUT ON MY BROKEN RIB
fractalcore

Typical situations,
all too obvious.
Spiteful
Prototypical Sin
Condition.

Thank you,
Adam;
End
Eve.


written 05/24/08
and thank you, themolly.
: )
 — fractalcore

make that


LASHING OUT ON MY BROKEN RIB
fractalcore

"Typical situations,
all too obvious."
"Spiteful
Prototypical Sin
Condition."

Thank you,
Adam;
End
Eve.


written 05/24/08
and thank you, themolly.
: )
 — fractalcore

You are quite welcome fractalcore
 — themolly

Bravisimo!  Reminds me of my "Moon in Aries" poem.  Sad times we're living in, indeed.  Take heart.  :-)
 — starr

adam was alone in the garden and feeling miserable. he cried out to the heavens. i can't stand this lonliness anymore. god duly appeared and said ok adam i can get you some company. this person will be called woman. she will be warm, loving, intelligent, extremely beautiful and just a wonderful person to be around. but adam it will cost you an arm and a leg. o. said adam. i don't want to pay that much. what can i get for a rib?
 — unknown

Thank you very much starr.
 — themolly

? considering extending this one
 — themolly

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