poetry critical

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i am the left-shooed loath-us | you're in my right shoe on the stone
fractalcore

...
 1
and gaze straight down, beyond,
 2
to realize a dream that kept you
 3
afloat and solidly posited
 4
all alone all along...
 5
 
 
your Self is writ in stone-hard
 6
factuality, all-ways awaiting
 7
your punctuality...
 8
 
 
keep a-wa[l]king --
 9
 
 
don't be late.
 10





a sequel to and written right after "I [let my right] SUCK DRY" 04/26/08

for myself prima[ri]lly, if some unks don't want
to get involved in this.



Loving you all still and calm,

                  ___
                __/__
                  /\
               /    \

           fractalcore
           : )

27 Apr 08

Rated 10 (8.8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (9): 2, 3, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

i've been waiting for the sequel. line 9 and 10 are cheeky, line 2 is sweet. as always, refreshingly different. not even the sequel is crafted in the same style.
 — raskolniikov

thanks, rask.

those last two lines are spoken for myself as well.
i talk to myself most of the time, you see.
: )
 — fractalcore

  
"your Self is writ in stone-hard  6
factuality "

I love saying that out loud. :)
 — ES

thank you so much, ES.
you're very kind.
: )
 — fractalcore

is it everyday action you talk to yourself about or is it poetry and ideas?
 — raskolniikov

more of reality-based stuff, and facts, rask.
and only that, i must say.

you?
: )
 — fractalcore

no, not much, i speak more in my sleep.
 — raskolniikov

good for you. i miss talking in my sleep.
: )
 — fractalcore

: )         : )          &nbs p;  : )
 — unknown

wish they had a least fav. option
 — unknown

annoying pome
 — unknown

Reads like drivel to me. Much like the rest of your stuff. Are you just taking the piss?
 — unknown

hello there, unks.
i've been expecting you.

how you been?
: )
 — fractalcore

ha ha fractal, very funny!
 — raskolniikov

<3
 — Aziel

sometimes the inspired poem comes after the labored and unsuccessful attempt at saying something as a poem. this one is neat.
 — joey

I love this. it's beautifully done. Definitely a favorite.
 — Porcelain_Lo

i like this too very much, it is more crafted than the first part. I like what it says.
 — nisetru

That's the problem...people(including some great poets) are talking to themselves most of the time and they tend to forget another integral way of dealing with things... balance must be observed, right?  Words are not enough as they say...my eyes speak even louder than your notebook.  

Hope that my fellow unk's wish would soon come true...PC having a least fave option.  That'll be great!
 — unknown

the tedium of the body can be a wonderful spark
something to do with blood flow i think
 — chuckle_s

"poets are talking to themselves..." i think that's the dialog of poetry -- "writing a letter", or making ad copy for toothpaste, are maybe what you're mistaking for poetry. that might be why you don't really like poetry.
 — joey

inWORD verbalization is the bane of fast-Eyed readers and the boon of real-Eyesed Poets  -- Truth and Beauty are wild mutant dancers all-ways changing and ever arranging -- when I am Truth she is Beauty unless she lied about me being ugly -- you're the master of fractured poetry and realEYEsed fractalcore -- from a wireless cafe in the desert of the okynoggan on my bicycle holydays
 — AlchemiA

ey, rask. yeah, unks are really fun to be with.
: )
 — fractalcore

hi, Aziel.

does <3 mean you gave it a 3?
thank you for that and for reading.
: )
 — fractalcore

joey, thanks, man.
but this is nothing much really.

thank you for your "kelly" piece.
it rocks.
: )
 — fractalcore

Porcelain_Lo, welcome back
and thanks for your appreciation.
: )
 — fractalcore

AlchemiA, thank you so much for your kind
words. take care where ever you are.
: )
 — fractalcore

I like L9. :)
 — happymole

fractalcore--

No, that's most certainly an e-heart, which you most certainly have by now.  I gave you a 10. ;D
 — Aziel

an e-heart? thanks a lot, Aziel.
: )
 — fractalcore

Ah yes. The sequel! Well done fractal. I like this better than the original.
 — grneyeddevil

thanks, dude.
: )
 — fractalcore

"the tedium of the body can be a wonderful spark
something to do with blood flow i think
— chuckle_s"


well, right chuck. i often forget to do the shoulder stand.
i'm an oxygen-deficient[-in-the-]brain freak.
i forgot to thank you, so Thanks now.
: )
 — fractalcore

i think a recent comment used to be here because
this showed up. whatever the comment or whoever
the commenter was, thanks.
: )
 — fractalcore

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