remove "so small". I like the title. but not the role-playing.
hm, not sure.
I agree with DL, in removing 'so small'.
I do like the first 2 lines very much.
Wow, you are back, cool.
You made it a few times to the top with The Episcopalian Kind
which is a wonderful poem.
I like the repetition with and
Love this, I'd think about removing "so small" as well. Bulls-eye says it all. Love this still.
This is so good, it leaves me wanting more. If possible please elaborate a bit. As far as "so small" goes, I think it lends itself well. It's like you are not an over emotional person yet you stand still in anticipation of this love you seek. Too bad your lover is a poor marksman.
an undoing and a plastic heart of regret, leaves me feeling.. empty.
and yet, there is 'and' to consider. an 'and' in the beginning, so also an "and in the end"? life goes on, yes?
i like it when little poems make me think. thank you.
god there just so many morons, sheep, and what's another word aaa morans, on this site. Of course you don't change a word here, this a beautiful poem, and you're a Poet.
may you have to write it sooooo small (so the rest of the morans can get the feel of it) I can't believe these comments, this is what happens when idiots get praise, they get empowered and entitled with weapons of stupidity.
Dude, chill the fuck out! People make suggestions here. That's what it about. If you love it so much why am I the only one who's rated it?
still love this
Thanks all. Slight edit, although I feel the need to keep 'so small' as I don't know whether bulls eye is enough in itself.
The love....not superficial, but certainly not beating.
'and' or 'to'? or perhaps neither even.
the closing line does not bring anything here.
of(f) course it does ;-)
AND i forgot