poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Society Lost

A world with too much freedom is abandoned and ends in tears and crashing waves.

You can see the world,
vast, changing
and, with civil chagrin,
The ancient worlds,
they are lost,
rotting between fire and ice.
You read it in the books,
in lyceums in the stars.
But absent god you are
of regions
where mounting freedom comes with cost.
You're paralyzed;
time has always felt divine.
But, mortal, time does nothing
but grow old and
melt with age.
And ivy, like creeping sentries,
and storm
this untidy, opposite planet.
The sun that sets
is a black hole
as it eats away
at the calendar of days.
We claw and gasp, we grasp at winds
that wither
and release.
You’re weeping now
in cadence
with the chimes of wrecking sea,
with waves that flicker vast and nigh
and curl into another
fallen world.

6 May 08

Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 9, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(19 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


-- this has some rhythmic qualities that gather us to your fell Dream of times imminent moment hurtling all to the ends of infinity -- if you travel half way through infinity, infinity still lies before you -- if you live long enough and you see Countries and People become their opposites as duality seems to play that way -- freedom from freedom is the Truth and the Beauty is anyways -- most folks assume the arrow of Time and Evolution to be the same direction -- often that is not the case with man and his eternal recurrences --
 — AlchemiA

I really like this poem. The topic you chose to write about has a lot in common with most of the topics I write about. Things that concern me, the world falling apart, wanting change. Check them out.

My critique: a solid 9 :)
 — Dreamer89

Lovely moves.
 — themolly


I'll get right on that. Thanks.
 — theshattered