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god gave you wings, not fins
Aziel

in a traveling fish bowl
 1
i see the world
 2
guided
 3
by an invisible ringmaster
 4
jumping through hoops
 5
while I sleep precariously
 6
in a tube made of my own.
 7
 
 
pay-per-view love.
 8
you hate it.
 9
the way your fingers
 10
skim the surface
 11
and how fast you twinkle your toes,
 12
pant legs rolled up, socks discarded
 13
they all say:
 14
"i want to swim in the river,
 15
but god gave me wings,
 16
not fins."
 17
 
 
simple gestures
 18
and blue-hue light
 19
are all a blushing girl
 20
can muster
 21
for a constant customer
 22
purple, like violets.
 23
violent,
 24
tumultuous,
 25
storms moving closer.
 26
 
 
you flitter your smile,
 27
you flutter your wings.
 28
but i can taste the difference
 29
between fresh and salt water.
 30
an unfortunate gift
 31
that poisons me.
 32
 
 
i press my fingers
 33
against this cellophane
 34
hoping for release,
 35
warm kisses,
 36
and slippery embraces.
 37

12 May 08

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Comments:

You need to be more coherent, Ija, if anyone's to take you seriously.
 — Aziel

Are you... foreign?  Mentally handicapped?  Otherwise unable to comprehend the English language?  Before you start typing a sentence in my general direction, ask yourself a simple question:

"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

No, really.
 — Aziel

pretty
i would most certainly be your angel if i weren't so badass
 — unknown

I'm just trying to figure out why you post responses like you're in an IM box.  This isn't AIM, there's no reason to make a new post for each sentence.  Let's not forget to mention that you use punctuation incorrectly in these sentences.  It bugs me when I have to stop in the middle of your dull-witted comments to figure out what the hell you're trying to say.

Also, who the gently caress is Ezra Pound?
 — Aziel

You posted that very last one before I could post mine.  How many times do you poop a day?  Do you constantly get on and off the pot because you can't decide if you're done yet?  That's what it seems you're doing in everyone's comments and on the forums.
 — Aziel

Are you asking me to critique that one statement you made?
 — Aziel

fantastic although i am not sure mermaids and angels make good couples. ;-)
 — raskolniikov

It's about love that just won't work.  Hence, the angel and the mermaid.
 — Aziel

Aziel, I've read this a number of times and always in a different frame of mind. I love that you allow us this glimpse of the tender and the wistful. However, I don't think you should wrap it up as you've done in your final two lines. The message there is implicit. I think you could end it beautifully on l37. Just my opinion, to consider and/or toss.
 — banditfemme

Yeah, I agree and got rid of it.  I'll eventually add to and tweak the piece later, maybe finding a better ending, or extending it.  I do that with all of my work at some point.  Thanks for pointing that out :D
 — Aziel

Ontogeny is the recapitulation of phylogeny in utero, and we may visualize the developmental stages each representing our human predecessors as they pass from a single cell, the hydra, the amphiox, the fish, the four footed land creatures, the four footed mammal, the monkey, the ape and finally to the human. After birth Nature grows us up to a certain point then we have to take over -- this piece takes us into the Poem, even under the skin where wishes like fishes Dream of freedom -- nothing like Loves embrace to change us like the cocoon to butterfly with all it's pleasure and pain -- well writ with your invertendo wit and eyes that see reality
 — AlchemiA

The release of an intense pleasure or pain, letting go or slipping away, finding the flow from the highest of the high to the lowest of the low; as a fish, you're not above the world and not really feeling anything. That said, there's something in the way.

Of course fishes and birds have different reproductive systems than us. And each other. And a flying fish is not merely a fish-bird hybrid.
 — Cerulise

wow, really pretty good writing from a pretty girl.
fins will serve me well if i'm in the water though.

will cats prefer wings to fins?
: )
 — fractalcore

Title is killer. I like this. Grimy, but there's this film and feel of disconnection from a reality here that I so love reading and seeing. It's like living in the gutter but every night you look up at the stars instead.
 — wendz

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