A song has legs.
Tiptoes across my spine.
Pulls and careens me.
Tongues my lobes like a lusty lover.
Childhood sweets playing show and tell
And leads to truth or dare.
I dare you to possess me as music.
It's there, raw and elusive.
A song is a sight to behold!
With curves as a lover's curves.
Hard, as I am hard.
Soft, as she is soft.
One, as we are one.
Sanguine and symbiotic,
Skipping to the beat of my blood.
I stroke her strings
To fervorous frets
She abides and serenades.
This is what true love sounds like.
15 May 08
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the first line i thought was brilliant - the rest a letdown.. it seems like your trying too hard to force the imagery. let it come at a more natural pace. holds promise.
Thanks for reading adonis. I can't say that I forced anything other than a vision of my guitar as my lover. Her name is Scarlett and she sleeps in my bed with me sometimes.
more shameless self promotion
a song has seeds
long and strong
and broken picks
You're right. I changed L17.
|1 is like a poem
on its own.
reminds me of Fend Her Hair,
this little love affair of yours
with your axe.
Ahhh yes. If only Scarlett were a real girl. She would write endless reams of bad poetry about us, paint abstracts in the nude, and wake me in the morning with incredible toe-curling sex.
Just to make you drool, a friend of mine has a Rickenbacker 330/12, 1983 model, in pristine condition.
L4 is missing an article adj. "I stroke her strings/to fervorous frets" isn't written correctly, I think; it doesn't make sense gramatically.
I like the concept, though.
Oooh A Rickenbacker! Very nice. Thanks for the comments Cerulise. I'll look into it.
Thanks Mark, I appreciate it!
line 4 - should read? like a lusty lover... ?
enjoyed the parallels you are drawing here ;)
y'know I dropped the "a" in line 4 because every time I read it I heard, "shave his belly with a rusty razor..." in my head. weird, I know. i'll put the "a" back in. lol