poetry critical

online poetry workshop



May Fair Share | STOWN ME TO DEPTH | Fur Shur
fractalcore

it's really good to see you again --
 1
seven in the morning, a friend i
 2
take to that top floor; His picture
 3
now on the floor...
 4
 
 
it used to be perched on top of -- i
 5
never use "top" as a punitive term,
 6
by the way, as it can never mean
 7
"below" which i cannot use here --
 8
a table of relatively top quality
 9
and design[ed] apparently
 10
 
 
to hold the weight of a calmly face and erudite
 11
eyes close[d] behind those retro-shades --
 12
 
 
[i think they would fit me just as well...]
 13
 
 
 
 
you ask me if i stick with the regimen of two
 14
sittings daily: my Boo-duh smile i
 15
flash at you like a redundant sun
 16
saying, "you know it already; why ask? silly."
 17
 
 
He's always seated on His butt, isn't He?
 18
 
 
looks like only His baldness is bestowed
 19
upon me so... we sit together for almost
 20
an hour to compensate for the countless
 21
 
 
hours of my indolence, inconsistence, incoherence:
 22
 
 
 
 
one:
 23
 
 
in awe of You as usual, happy to have twisted my legs
 24
once more, i break my record of tardiness
 25
at work with a good 5-minute ahead-start
 26
in my 24-hour outfit and 36-hour stench.
 27
 
 
"Who cares?" you say.
 28
 
 
my point exactly.
 29
 
 
wow, the guru has a new mp4 player called "Zen".
 30
 
 
"a gift from her" he says.
 31
 
 
point taken.
 32
 
 
OooohhhM, i love these bananas --
 33
is this "Microvitum" in my hands?
 34
 
 
 
 
two:
 35
 
 
http://poetrycritical.net/read/47776/
 36
 
 
"...you can look at it as quarks or space particles or time-space warped, bent, or shrunk at the vortex or wormhole or portal, i.e. "pay" = "death" = "transition". or see it as an hourglass or funnel where drops of Infinity spiral down like wat'r getting flushed in the "toil-let" or going down d' drain....the microcosOm of how space particles behave in the macrocosOm cosmos."
 37
 
 
 
 
                                 /\
 38
                               / \
 39
                             /........\
 40
             i need to buy me a new tent
 41
            E = you = me = @ the core
 42
 
 
"the only merit i see in this poem is the way the words flow- but that's trivial, as i can get no sense of a meaning whatsoever. oh and that ending line is just plain unnecessary, verging on annoying.
 43
— unknown          [!]"
 44
 
 
"I mean apna kayaal rakhna, fract!  :)
 45
— happymole          [!]"
 46
 
 
"...oh, and 'complexity of meanings', nisetru, or willful obscurity?
 47
— unknown          [!]"
 48
 
 
"did i misspell microcosm and macrocosm here? oh yes, i did. what idiocy. stown me to depth.
 49
: )
 50
— fractalcore          [!]"
 51
 
 
 
 
1.  elswhere @ http://poetrycritical.net/read/47912/
 52
 
 
"I don't think taking ideas from mad people is the way forward.
 53
— unknown          [!]"
 54
 
 
"Sorry, I've squinted at them for at least an hour still trying to find some retaining vitrue and I canne lie, they're pish.
 55
— unknown          [!]"
 56
 
 
""poets are talking to themselves..." i think that's the dialog of poetry -- "writing a letter", or making ad copy for toothpaste, are maybe what you're mistaking for poetry. that might be why you don't really like poetry.
 57
— joey          [!]"
 58
 
 
 
 
2.  elsewhere still @ http://poetrycritical.net/forum/read/147059/
 59
 
 
it's really all right, you know.  joey  18 May 08 4:41PM [!] Post Reply
 60
 
 
it's really ok -- you write as you can and how you can, and the people here read you as they can and respond to you how they can. it's a bunny fuck-fest, but that's nature as we know it. unfortunatly, what we know nature to be has been fed us by someone else. you see these real poets come along -- one every twenty years -- and they redefine nature for the bunnies, and the stores sell the bunnies new dresses and skateboards.
 61
 
 
re: it's really all right, you know.  AlchemiA  19 May 08 12:15AM [!] Post Reply
 62
 
 
Science like Religion is a language which attempts to encapsulate and explain Nature -- we are Nature urged to Human metaphors and verisimilitudes -- when Nature has need of some expression sHe urges in surges throughout mankind for a heart made ready from beating with wings dipped in tears and laughter -- when sHe finds a ready vessel malleable and purified by fires of miseries and joy for this new expression sHe urges by creativity the realized raptures in the longing song Poem - the Poet is often reflected in that urge as the creator is always part creation and as all things go all things become the Poem and so too is the Poet an urge of Nature expressed in surges - the authentic Poet writes with tears and laughter in such a way that you become the Poet reading it and are, therefore, become an expressed urge of Nature surged -- the goal is partly to embrace the reader with their own realizations while the reader feels the embracing of realizations well writ -- when Natures urge surges a new Poet we are all made greater by that creation --
 63
 
 
 
 
 
 
It's always One and/or Two thing[s] really... or, as they say, One of Two things.
 64
 
 
"Your Singularity and Duality [and Anonymity] suck
 65
just the same" as a contradiction in terms, I say to You
 66
 
 
                                                                     and Me;
 67
 
 
 
 
             ...Happy Birthday in Advance
 68
                  or something like that...
 69





                                 to

               Shrii Shrii Anandamurti
       (May 21, 1921 – October 21, 1990)
                      unborn | undead


        

                               from

                                ___
                              __/__
                                /\
                              /   \

                          fractalcore
                          : )



                                  or
                           vice versa




                                P.S.
           i still don't want a Sanskrit name
         e[r]go middle finger to the Boo-duh

                      i never complain
                  about my full lotus till
                    a quarter past half

                                 ^
                  that's something i call
               "45 of 60 or thereabouts"
                        a haizenkryu
                           [05/20/08]

18 May 08

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (1): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I love it so much.
l1-23 are beautiful, with the portrait of your guru and friend and your encounter
I like the additions too, especially the first one, it's funny and clever.
 — nisetru

hi, nisetru. thank you so much .

sorry for the delayed response. i was busy tweaking
the piece so i'm sure you missed out on the P.S. note
and some other add-ons and deletions.

here's 69 lines for Baba's 69 unparalleled years on the
face of the earth.

Namaskar, everyone.

: )
 — fractalcore

-- in ThunderBay my Vipasana guide who looked like a Bodhidharma bum showed me the way of attention and formless being -- after two weeks of constant attention to the moment I felt a pain shooting into my Heart as if a nail driven in -- he said, 'this practise is like open heart surgery' and smiled churlishly -- I saw the Heart chakra open inside out without a doubt with many petals unfolding and a blissful lightness of being permeated throughout -- the Dakshong Rinpoche gave me a Tibetan name, Pema Dorje which translates to Lotus Blossom--Lightening Bolt or as I say in the Western vernacular, Flower Power -- I enjoyed your highStory fractalcore --
 — AlchemiA

what is everyone smoking these days? for once there's more nirvana here than numbskulls. please explain or else i will notify the authorities.

om shanti
st3ntorian
 — unknown

ey Alc, your highStory is wonderful, too.

so is your response to joey's thread but
i'm sorry i can't include it in this piece as
it has to be 69 lines, no more no less.

but i'm posting it here:

"re: it's really all right, you know.  AlchemiA  19 May 08 12:15AM [!] Post Reply

Science like Religion is a language which attempts to encapsulate and explain Nature -- we are Nature urged to Human metaphors and verisimilitudes -- when Nature has need of some expression sHe urges in surges throughout mankind for a heart made ready from beating with wings dipped in tears and laughter -- when sHe finds a ready vessel malleable and purified by fires of miseries and joy for this new expression sHe urges by creativity the realized raptures in the longing song Poem - the Poet is often reflected in that urge as the creator is always part creation and as all things go all things become the Poem and so too is the Poet an urge of Nature expressed in surges - the authentic Poet writes with tears and laughter in such a way that you become the Poet reading it and are, therefore, become an expressed urge of Nature surged -- the goal is partly to embrace the reader with their own realizations while the reader feels the embracing of realizations well writ -- when Natures urge surges a new Poet we are all made greater by that creation --"

thanks, Alc.

: )
 — fractalcore

st3ntorian, thank you so much for reading.

sorry i don't smoke and i dunno nothing.
nirvana can take care of itself, don't you think?

: )
 — fractalcore

wuchathink?

: )
 — fractalcore

What you don't smoke? You should and meditate on it.
 — unknown

lokk at me I'm a UNK!!!
 — unknown

oh unk, yes you really are a UNKY.
i do smoke but maybe once in a blue moon.

and the lotus becomes the smoke on the
water when

1.  it is combusted when it drowns; and/or
2.  it reaches absolute zero and sublimates
     to a smoke-state upon giving up on the
     struggle to drown itself in the molten lava
     upon w/c it floats.

but weren't we talking about a lotus on a pond?

st3ntorian might be right:
what do people smoke these days?

: )
 — fractalcore

breaking news:

a "haizenkryu " is born!!!

cheeky me.
: )
 — fractalcore

you might wanna trash this too, outerspace overdued.
be my guest.

: )
 — fractalcore

now where's your chlorined test--?
: )
 — fractalcore

while our dear friend outerspace gets warped,
i realize AlchemiA's forum post deserves to be
in my piece; his poetry is more often found in
his comments rather than in his "poetry".

trochee, i love your poems better.
: )
 — fractalcore

...Happy Birthday...
: )
 — fractalcore

so no one else likes birthday parties?
: )
 — fractalcore

anybody?
: )
 — fractalcore

a great read fractal - i like the way you dont shy away form difficult contemplations :)

always plenty going on in your work

~ Mong
 — Mongrol

unknowns:
...thank you so much for reading and commenting...

Mongrol:
your opinion is highly valued and appreciated.

: )
 — fractalcore

so interesting you can't finish it in one reading ;)
 — unknown

gotta' give made props (enjoyed reading) even though the 1st strophe is slightly wonky.  I dig it nonetheless.
 — JKWeb

line 4, maybe 'now grounded' ?  
 — JKWeb

haha, you always get the same feedback from way back up to this hour. funny, clever. people come and go. redundance. such word exists. dunno what else does or does not. 2008 yet this is so new.
tnx ;)
 — unknown

0.377s