poetry critical

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Rainbows: as they relate to the aborted.

I want my baby back ribs,
gristle, juicy, slimy
          sadistic eyes
happy smile
teeth bite
the floorboards.
had an abortion at 9:00
and then I went to Walmart
to buy some chips and a
retail; god it makes me horny.
the claws scrape my insides.
I caress the soft cotton
as my arms fold into each other
and think of skin and
there is a waterfall of curdled
blood and ripped condoms
just on the horizon
and sometimes I stare at the
rainbows dancing on the mist
and think that red can mean
so many different things
all at once it seems.

20 May 08

Rated 10 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (2): 7, 8, 10

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vivid descriptions, i like this for some odd reason
 — thefatwon

well-woven stuff.
and bad, too, all at once.

which is a good thing.
: )
 — fractalcore

1-6 made me want to heave my breakfast.  Gruesome.  The rest of this seems like filler - anything to fill the emptiness, plus line 17-19 are almost too vivid to bear.
 — Isabelle5

I didn't mind this really; but I hate the character with a passion for her lack of...something; in the empty space of which she has stuffed those awful things, and it makes me angry, and sad...and the ending is quite good.
 — mindbodysoul

theme wise bump
 — unknown