poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Rainbows: as they relate to the aborted.
friedMnoodle

I want my baby back ribs,
 1
gristle, juicy, slimy
 2
 
 
          sadistic eyes
 3
 
 
 
 
happy smile
 4
 
 
teeth bite
 5
the floorboards.
 6
 
 
 
 
had an abortion at 9:00
 7
and then I went to Walmart
 8
to buy some chips and a
 9
sweater.
 10
 
 
retail; god it makes me horny.
 11
the claws scrape my insides.
 12
I caress the soft cotton
 13
as my arms fold into each other
 14
and think of skin and
 15
fingernails.
 16
 
 
there is a waterfall of curdled
 17
blood and ripped condoms
 18
just on the horizon
 19
 
 
and sometimes I stare at the
 20
rainbows dancing on the mist
 21
and think that red can mean
 22
so many different things
 23
 
 
all at once it seems.
 24

20 May 08

Rated 10 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10, 10
Inactive (2): 7, 8

(define the words in this poem)
(50 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

vivid descriptions, i like this for some odd reason
 — thefatwon

well-woven stuff.
and bad, too, all at once.

which is a good thing.
: )
 — fractalcore

1-6 made me want to heave my breakfast.  Gruesome.  The rest of this seems like filler - anything to fill the emptiness, plus line 17-19 are almost too vivid to bear.
 — Isabelle5

I didn't mind this really; but I hate the character with a passion for her lack of...something; in the empty space of which she has stuffed those awful things, and it makes me angry, and sad...and the ending is quite good.
 — mindbodysoul

theme wise bump
 — unknown

0.224s