| 45 of 60 or thereabouts
|
fractalcore
| 15: /i ne\ | 1 |
\ver/ | 2 |
complain | 3 |
30: /ab | my | lo\ | 4 |
/out | full | tus\ | 5 |
t . . . i . . . l . . . l | 6 |
45: (a quarter past half) | 7 |
|
a "haizenkryu" written 5/20/08
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48443/
minutes prior to
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48491/
hi, chuckle_s.
: ) |
20 May 08 |
Rated 6.5 (6.5) by 6 users.
Active (6): 1, 1, 7, 8, 10
Inactive (0):
(define the words in this poem)
(122 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
again.
hi, chuckle_s.
: )
— fractalcore
hi
— chuckle_s
i have a mind to begin smashing things
hence
the nature of hi zen crew
thanx
— chuckle_s
i have a mind to create and destruct
all at once.
how do you like my haizenkryu yogi?
: )
— fractalcore
...uhm...
...yooohooo...
: )
— fractalcore
ugh
— chuckle_s
Lee
— chuckle_s
!
— chuckle_s
what?!
you got 45 minutes to repent.
or thereabouts.
; )
— fractalcore
20 some odd years ago this humble canucklehead vacationing in the sunshine state with his parents meets some northern yankee kids also taking respite from the cold in florida and he noted that these kids referred to 15 minutes before the hour as "a quarter of" compared to his own manner of speech which would be to say "a quarter to" and also that these said young yanx referred to 15 minutes past the hour as "a quarter after" compared to his own manner which would be to say "quarter after"
somehow this all relates to the haizenkryu above as a quarter past half could really be considered by some some to be a quarter of which might push the whole proceeding into a different spaceloaf for some
i liked it the way it was...
— chuckle_s
thanks, dude, butt i couldn't help smelling the
incense and then started letting out gas.
once again, destruction paved way to creation
@ the 5th hour, 7th minute, 5th second.
: )
— fractalcore
wellthen if youre gonna keep it and seeing as how youre bent on the passage of time then i suggest that i never could be eldestructo ilcreato'd in a slightly different way to push it through space
— chuckle_s
so much about being politically correct, i guess.
this has got to have its own language and wings
in a rather limited airspace.
thanks for controlling the tower.
: )
— fractalcore
nisetru, thanks for the fave.
: )
— fractalcore
Chuckles, are you sure you shouldn't be pursuing an art career? You're very good at making these, I'm very bad at reading them! I applaud your efforts!
Full Lotus? Did I get it?
— Isabelle5
Oh, it seems I've applauded the wrong poet! I thought the Hi, was signed by Chuckle_s.
geez......
— Isabelle5
oh hi, izzy. for a great poet such as yourself to like this piece is
an overwhelmingly rare occasion. i just wish i had chuckle_s' wit,
humor and creativity. both of you are really awesome people.
thank you so very much
nonetheless.
hope you'll grace my mediocre works more often.
: )
— fractalcore
and thanks for the fave, chuckle_s.
thought you liked the old format better.
: )
— fractalcore
lovely lil poem, simple and poignant too. love its form.
— nisetru
thanks, nisetru.
could've been much simpler than this
but couldn't help it.
: )
— fractalcore
I have to own up and say I quite enjoyed (and understood!) this one.
BTW
I HATE WORDS I DO
fractalcore
NOT!
naught that aye really doo
butt eye contradict me-self too often
and more than knot
i play like a child with world-blacks
counter-striking the so-cold
write-hers block -- her slender
hands wrapped around
my fists, my wrists
deciding to twist and desist,
finally
over-dissent-gauging,
writing
ghostly from the blood
born of the marrow
of fractured
bones
structured in self-evadent
overkill, twice the thrill,
hemorrhaged shrill,
death of reason,
in spite of
season
defied,
undefined.
deep-fried 8-legged hen
all-ways laying-lying
finding not enuff
sleep, i eat.
May-bee,
if you stop me,
i'll hate U2.
written 05/24/08
thanks, unknown.
— fractalcore [!]
make that
I HATE WORDS I DO
fractalcore
NOT!
naught that aye really doo
butt eye contradict me-self too often
and more than knot
i play like a child with world-blacks
counter-striking the so-cold
write-hers block -- her slender
hands wrapped around
my fists, my wrists
deciding to twist and desist,
finally
over-dissent-gauging,
writing
ghostly from the blood
born of the marrow
of fractured
bones
structured in self-evadent
overkill, twice the thrill,
hemorrhaged shrill,
death of reason,
in spite of
season
defied,
undefined.
deep-fried 8-legged hen
all-ways laying-lying
finding not enuff
sleep, i eat.
May-bee,
if ewe stop me,
i'll hate U2.
written 05/24/08
thanks, unknown.
— fractalcore
— unknown
glad you enjoyed it, unky.
here's what i was able to write from memory
when the unk that inspired me tore his piece
down then reposted it.
I HATE WORDS I DO
fractalcore
NOT!
naught that i really daunt
butt eye contradict me-self too off-ten
and more than nut;
i play like a child with world-blacks
counter-striking the so-cold
write-hers block -- her slender hands
wrapped around my fists, my wrists
deciding to twist and desist,
finally
writing
ghostly
width blood born of the marrow
of fractured bones structured
in self-evadent overkill,
twice the thrill, hemorrhaged
shrill, death of reason,
in spite of season
defied,
undefined.
deep-fried 8-legged hen
all-ways laying-lying
finding not enuff
sleep, i me meat-ate.
May-bee,
if ewe stop me,
i'll hate U2.
written 05/24/08
thanks again to the unknown
who inspired this.
: )
— fractalcore
60
i
ver
y
past
ha..
EVERYTHING
— unknown
Fractalcore, i like your creativity a lot. you don't mind thinking out of the box; i imagine, perhaps one day you'll write about that limiting box, and use a box-format ... yeah, i could see you doing that.
anyway, no need for propositions. this poem works out really well.
— listen
thank you so much, listen.
glad to have you here.
thing is, i never know what to write about
till i start wtiting. but you're giving me ideas,
hehe.
: )
— fractalcore
er "writing", i should say.
hi, listen...
and chuckle_s,
et al.
: )
— fractalcore
hi
most
especially
to
Isabelle5.
; )
— fractalcore
bumpeetee day, everee-one.
; )
— fractalcore
What makes
a haiku different from other
three-line short poems?
bullet Do you miss a reference to nature or is that less important than the way the linkage works?
bullet Do days go by when you are too busy to write haiku until a pressing deadline forces you to look! and there they are haiku all around you?
— unknown
sorry,meant
http://www.ah apoetry.com/haiku.htm#rethink
— unknown
thatnks for visiting and the link, unk.
: )
— fractalcore
this is pretty interesting -- it's a 'score' for reading your poem, and imagining that the quantities are happy with the words, then the words expand into phrases and poems.
this would look good in a book of surrealist poetry from the 1910's, but it would be better poetry than most all the others.
— bmikebauer
|
|
|