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my vagina
friedMnoodle

as a woman,
 1
new to the role
 2
i like to put ice
 3
on my nipples.
 4
and pretend that i feel
 5
something. stick things;
 6
fingers, strange men,
 7
phallic objects
 8
into my penis, no-
 9
my vagina.
 10
 
 
my vagina.  
 11
strange to say,
 12
 
 
i have always worn dresses,
 13
now i wear them cut above the knee
 14
and let them sling down to
 15
slut-extremes showing off
 16
my perfect breasts.  
 17
men (and women) now stare at me
 18
i feel it,
 19
some new formed perception
 20
curving to my ass and i lean over
 21
in the market and can
 22
feel the pubescent minors
 23
drift my way,
 24
 
 
i imagine it makes me wet,
 25
makes me a woman.
 26
 
 
like my father always said i was.
 27

25 May 08

Rated 10 (7.2) by 4 users.
Active (4):
Inactive (17): 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

MY VAGUE EYE, NAH? YEAH.
fractalcore

eye cunt see.


written 05/24/08
thanks, FriedMnoodle.
: )
 — fractalcore

make that


MY VAGUE EYE, NAH? YEAH.
fractalcore

eye kunt see.


written 05/24/08
thanks, friedMnoodle.
: )
 — fractalcore

again
make that


MY VAGUE EYE, NAH? YEAH!
fractalcore

eye kunt see!


written 05/24/08
thanks, friedMnoodle.
: )
 — fractalcore

okay, it's a brand new day.
i dint see dat.

05/25/08
: )
 — fractalcore

rubbish
 — unknown

This is actually rather sad, but too blunt for me to really appreciate it. Still, interesting concept - if what I'm getting from it, a sex change, is correct.
 — mindbodysoul

L1: "woman"

i liked this poem, a lot.  (for unconventional/uncomfortable subjects, this is really good, one of the best i've read).

L22: i'd love you to say 'supermarket' as it gives a very good image of the stereotypical woman.  sounds like it could be from the father's influence as well.
 — jenakajoffer

this is good but line 16 "slut-extremes" rethink that. I dont think it works. line 27 is great
 — Luxy

perfect. just perfect.
 — alambre

Luxy, I thought "slut-extremes" was one of the best parts of the poem
 — fireballems

slippery and very good. A nit: L 23 has a redundancy. Lines 11-12, either toss them, or stretch them: va-gi-na ( counting those deep syllables). Killer last line, which gives the reader a book in seven words.

I like your poem. A lot.
 — banditfemme

Whoa!  LOVE IT!  Very self-assured, honest writing, which is what makes poetry Poetry in my opinion.  Kinky and well expressed.  I especially dig L's 25 & 26.  L27 felt a little creepy.  Not sure if that was your intent, but overall, a great write.  Thanks!
 — starr

(i)
 — AlchemiA

"curving to my ass
as i lean over in the
supermarket
and feel the pubescent minors
drift my way..."

re-reading, found a suggestion.
i'll go read your new one now.
jen-
 — unknown

oh what a glorious poem.
 — fried2noodle

if it makes me salivate, im both a man and a lover of peosy.
It's like taking a lick delish, Luv.
Bless ya, 4 yr poem and yer equipment.
LaG
 — LaGamba

does no one see the underlining sadness here?
 — unknown

Let me know whenyou are next down at our market and I'll mark you out of 10
 — larrylark

yes. super duper
 — Salamander

go gina


monsieur la penis
 — unknown

this leaves me dry, not wet.
 — unknown

This is a really interesting poem. I like the sadness behind it.
 — ssensory

This is an interesting poem
A teases social construct
 — unknown

a) I think this is great.
b) I would consider l27, think maybe that is a different poem.
c) If they intertwine, that's cool too.

And that is purely as a poem commenter.
 — sixtywatt

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