poetry critical

online poetry workshop



I HATE WORDS I DO
fractalcore

NOT!
 1
 
 
naught that i really daunt
 2
butt eye contradict me-self too off-ten
 3
and more than nut[s];
 4
 
 
i play like a child with world-blacks
 5
count-her-strike-king duh so-cold
 6
write-hers block -- her so-lend-her hands
 7
wrapped are-round my fists, my wrists
 8
deciding to twist and desist,
 9
 
 
finally
 10
writing
 11
ghostly
 12
 
 
width blood born of the marrow
 13
of fractured bones structured
 14
in self-evadent overkill,
 15
twice the thrill, hemorrhagic
 16
shrill, death of reason,
 17
in spite of cease-on
 18
defied,
 19
 
 
undeaf-fined.
 20
 
 
deep-fried 8-legged hen
 21
all-ways laying-lying
 22
finding not enuff
 23
sleep, i me meat-ate.
 24
 
 
May-bee,
 25
if ewe stop me,
 26
i'll hate U2.
 27
 
 
May-bee,
 28
 
 
[do]
 29
 
 
NOT.
 30




aka

schizy's back right on time for delayed satisfaction same similarly she: calm and goo-goo gal lashing out on my broken rib my vague eye, nah? yeah! arse n' all dum-dum me yes I HATE WORDS I DO

http://poetrycritical.net/read/48370/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/42508/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48558/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48565/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/47818/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48568/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48563/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48541/
http://poetrycritical.net/read/4236/

and the most controversial
http://poetrycritical.net/read/48569/
that inspired this piece on 5/24/08


thanks, unknown.
           ___
         __/__
           /\
         /   \
    fractalcore
    : )


P.S.
i re-apologize for smearing your poem's
comment section

27 May 08

Rated 9.5 (8.4) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (10): 1, 5, 7, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)

(3 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

very good writing, reads deliciously, several times full sizes, what i get from it is the love for words, the play with words, the love for poetry, the depth of the process, and a reference to a bee that basically wakes up from winter in may.
i liked the play with words spelling and sounds.
 — nisetru

shh now... read through the piece again and enjoy the fun of the the play
 — Mongrol

the apologia of moving wit writ like a sooth-ing sayer of playful meaning regaining child like seeming within and without a doubt -- fractalcore you are a child and that is a great compliment --
 — AlchemiA

unbeknownst one -- "The poet is one who is able to keep the fresh vision of the child alive." - Anaïs Nin
 — AlchemiA

nisetru:
thank you ever so much for the kindness. poetry, as a phenomenon,  starts in the mind where and when it is felt, seen, heard, intuited, and so on. expressing or giving it flesh/body in writing is the next step and sometimes, if not very often, is a tough undertaking. i mean, it's already there -- clear and bare in front of and in us. it is the "i" and "we" that need constant reaffirmation.

unknowns:
thank you all for the visit. please do feel free to write your thoughts down here.

Mongrol:
thank you so much for reading. this is not much really but at least yo had fun with it.

AlchemiA:
you deserve just the same as i see the child in you getting younger everyday.

DeformedLion:
that's cool, dude. thanks.

: )
 — fractalcore

No.  Sorry.
 — unknown

I hate English I really do (sometimes.)  I pity anyone who tries to make it their second language.  This has merit all its own (and truth.)  :-)
 — starr

whatever it is that you use when you write, errrrrrrrm...... would you be willing to share it ¿
 — banditfemme

different.... reads well cba to read through it again to find out its meaning tho
 — poetinthoght

unknown:

sorry, too, for whatever it's worth.


starr:

really an honor to have you here.
it takes an effort to bring any undertaking to the end desired and
failure is the measure of what the  potential success is or how
much of it is to work harder for. it's the only way to move forward
and it's by way of motivation coming  from the more adept to the
starters...or by way of inspiration, if you will.

pity is ok, too, at times, but it's almost always good to have a
positive approach.


banditfemme:

i'm really glad you took a shot on this one.
i only got my good-for-nothing self to share with you and it's the
only thing i rely on when i do things like this. maybe taking advantage
of some inspiration while it or they last(s).


poetinthought:

your kind words mean a lot to me. i hope you'll drop by
more often and as for the meaning of this piece, it's
pretty simple really. thank you so much for reading.

: )
 — fractalcore

Bleh.
 — unknown

BLEH
fractalcore

bleh bleh black holes
have you any woes?
yes err yes err:
thee bugged full...


written 06/05/08
thanks, unk.
: )
 — fractalcore

This does get pretty old pretty fast. Yes, you can write words differently without changing the phonetic sounds they make. Slightly clever, but you have overdone it. It is old. Move on to better things. You are becoming the kid who keeps showing the same mediocre card trick to everyone at camp, when we have all seen it a dozen times already, and know how to do it ourselves. Sorry if that was harsh.
 — joshcoops

hi, joshcoops.
an honor to have you here, dear sir.
you've made very good observations but
may i bring your attention to |15? yeah,
the damage had already been done. i
supppose what you meant by "harsh"
was "redundant".
; )
 — fractalcore

not really, unky.
everyday is a learning experience.
: )
 — fractalcore

I see L15 now, to be honest my attention was kept enough to take great note of it, and it does continue after the line also
 — joshcoops

maybe this doesn't deserve your undivided attention
after all. it does have an overly self-indulgent facade but
don't let it keep you from seeing right through it.

thanks for the comeback.
: )
 — fractalcore

i read this yesterday and didn't comment. that was a mistake. you need to know what a great poem this is. lines thirteen through nineteen are my favorite. your originality is a mazing, but when i get confused it is a pleasant sort of confusion. and anyway, your splitting and manipulation of words is incredible.
 — listen

listen, you're very kind.

anybody can do what i do as what a friend in the comments
above just told me. it's true and what i'm doing may not even
be enough to do Nature any justice as It is already perfect by
Itself and when we start acting like true poets we are actually
starting a very lousy job no matter how close we get to the core
of it all or at the attempt of expressing what we are capable of
intuiting. the urge is there and it's hard to evade, thus we all will
always be very lousy and yet very good at what we do...eternally
enslaved by that urge.

: )
 — fractalcore

'tis very true. we scramble things to make sense. whether they do or not, who knows.
 — listen

at least it makes sense to us to start with.
after the expression which could somehow
drain us, all else is of no consequence but
not necessarily so.
: )
 — fractalcore

and the lines the you like are the very essence
of this piece. thank you very much, listen.
: )
 — fractalcore

Hey Frac:  It's an honor to read your poetry.  I agree with your points too.  I am currently at work on becoming fluent in Spanish (more classes in the Fall) and testing in the winter for my Medical Interpreter's Certification.  It IS hard work and definitely takes motivation.  I'm considering bidding for a job here in Human Resources too (I work in a hospital.)  Take care.  :-)
 — starr

wow, you're a very busy person, starr, and [yet] you write
so well. i must say Spanish is a lovely language, and sexy,
too. good for you. take good care of yourself and keep those
beautiful poems coming.
: )
 — fractalcore

who is tis kid here?
 — unknown

i'd like to Him, the Kid, too, but it's clear that
I will never do. thunks for stopping by, unk.
: )
 — fractalcore

er, i'd like to know Him, the Kid, too, but it's clear that
I will never do. thunks for stopping by, unk.
: )
 — fractalcore

tis kid dwells deep in e wards of mental hospitals
 — unknown

he actually is a resident patioent there.
: )
 — fractalcore

owe-cake, sink-crew-gneiss yore what-chess, folks.
let's all go write know.
: )
 — fractalcore

          the only person i know who
         can play with words so well is
            ;       y o u
         may be out of the norm
         i like it, though i do.
         uniquely done...
         darn, you're indeed a brilliant man!          & nbsp;       
 — enkantada

    this is smorgasborg of delicacy
            ;         words letters   stacked an dripping with
        spicy mustard an peppers.  a word samwich and yummy
            ;       wet nap pleeze.         &nbs p;          &nb sp;          &n bsp;          & nbsp;     .
 — Liliana

hi, enkantada.
nice moniker there.

don't you think fractalcore is overrated?
i just hate him at too much at times, don't you?

thank for your very kind words and i'm still
waiting for your very first post.
: )
 — fractalcore

hi, Liliana.

well, eat seams too bee duh case end ewe
wheel halved two watch yore figure.

ey, what is that thing on your upper lip?
: )
 — fractalcore

boompfh.

: )
 — fractalcore

Interesting write.  I especially like lines 13-19.  Nice choice of words.
 — JKWeb

How fun! A tricky little piece that made me giggle.
 — ishtarboy300

thank you, JKWebster sir.

thank you, ishtarboy300.

; )
 — fractalcore

o-here wegoh
frctl brings his puppies home

it's fractalcoretime at pOeRTy CRiTiCAL
 — unknown

you're so funny, unk.
can you wag your tail for me?

; )
 — fractalcore

no,
I ant you dog
 — unknown

is you elvis' nuffin butt
uh beagle dawg?

; )
 — fractalcore

lol @ 25-27, wacky frac! i miss your fun.
i like the title, minus the 'NOT'

ewe are one of a kind. :)
 — mandolyn

LOL
 — unknown

0.225s