in the airport of your ideas.
by your unforgiving tongue.
by your self-proclaimed brilliance.
You are in HUGE denial.
the depths of truth.
And listen to the virginal echoes
of your conscience.
Maybe then, you'll think twice,
Before getting a man's dignity
tainted with your cleverly fictioned lies.
28 May 08
Rated 10 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (5): 7, 8, 8, 10, 10
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now you can ditch the "'s here and drive the
point home with a bang. nice moves.
got it fract, thanks :]
yeh gotta agree.. has some nicely and properly worked thought lines...
though line 2 - the airport of your ideas - is a little clunky for me, but I understand where you are coming from (i think ;))
oh how i LOVE this,
lines 7,8 are so quietly powerful although 'huge' isn't quite as serious as i would have liked, but then again, i am not sure of a better word right now.
(too many commas...L1,3,5,9,14) and i would remove line 11 altogether.
thanks, really great poem,
Thank you Jena, I'm a big fan of yours :)
though change the precept in line 15 from ..
Of getting a man's dignity
before getting a man's dignity
Thank you Mongrol :)
hey thanks, ark.
nice to read your poem again.
u r a grain of sand in a whole beach of garbage,poorly acknowledged.i'll kick u down e sea.feel nth?cos u r rubbish.