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Brainsick
markfelician

I'm in Satan's buttocks.
 1
Not an ideal place for a date I tell you.
 2
 
 
I entered his lottery the other day,
 3
Hoping I would get
 4
the chance to see you again.
 5
 
 
Good news!
 6
I quit smoking since
 7
Everything's Kelvin down here.
 8
If you catch my drift...
 9
 
 
I miss you terribly.
 10
The whining, cheating and orgasmic sex.
 11
 
 
I'm writing these letters everyday,
 12
to keep me sane,
 13
and to help me remember that day.
 14
 
 
Thanks to you,
 15
the bullet is stuck in my cranium.
 16
Stupid things,
 17
I would do to win you back.
 18
 
 
If I win the lottery,
 19
Expect a visit from me.  
 20
Don't forget to leave the door open darling.
 21

5 Jun 08

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Comments:

The opening couplet was amusing.

I didn't understand the idea of Satan's lottery. Is it a cultural reference I'm missing, or something you've created yourself?

The comma in line 17 seemed unnecessary.

Fun stuff! Thanks for sharing!
 — steveroggenb

any poem that includes the word 'darling' however quasi-ironically intended gets the toe of my boot.
 — opal

thank you opal and steve :)
 — markfelician

Steve I created in myself :)
 — markfelician

this is very nice.

"darling" adds a teasing tone to that last line and
if you remove it the reader will have only the horror
or terror to deal with. you call though.

glad to have you writing again.
: )
 — fractalcore

er, youR call, that is.
: )
 — fractalcore

i love the last line! made me laugh... reminds me of myself. :)
 — enkantada

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