poetry critical

online poetry workshop


Let's make pearls
instead of quarrels?
Place a grain of sand inside me
—bide a while—idle wild
while my nature smooths the grit
until it turns a pearl—or pit.
I surrender—see your pearl?
This gift for you—its glow is amber
in the firelight on the beach
all the nights the embers reach
—for butter, salt, a bit of bread.
My life was that—and this is said
with no regrets—except that now
I am devoured
and so propose
we dance on in the moontime pale
strumming pearls of words on strings
forgetting knots and without clasps.
See our words float to the sky?
Many moons—our human sighs.

7 Jun 08

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (0): 9

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


This is one of the best poems on the net, or anywhere else for that matter. I lost my old copy and can't see precisely what you've changed, anyway, it still reads as beautifully as ever.
Thanks again for this one Mr Netsky.
 — unknown

Thanks so much for the bolster.  The only change is the addition, "Of" to line twenty.
I think of the moons as being the people in various orbits, trajectories, in our lives.
I had to treat her acidity a sort of love we both needed in order to heal our differences.
This poem made it all alright--a love poem to an adversary--and it cured us both of all upsets.
 — netskyIam

wish i could write like this.

thanks for the poem, poet.
: )
 — fractalcore

*blush* (thank you so much, fractal beauty)
"without clasps":  we did a dance of surrender and release without clutchings,
without clasps.  A string of pearls without knotted ends, and without a fastening clasp,
so it's sort of two ways to take it, both 'literal' and figurative.  Thank  you.
 — netskyIam

very nice
notice eugenia's lack of, or perhaps inability to provide, response!
well done and used in a real-world situation for dramatic result
 — chuckle_s

thank you chuckles for your month-ago commentary. I did not want to refloat the poem then because it remains in development.  I just altered the last line by adding an em dash and changing "are" to "our".  Thank you so much for the support and kindness.
The poem is tonic for myself and I only wish for it to help others feel a similar peace.
 — netskyIam

well i like rhyme
and im glad my wish seems to at least partially have come to be
 — chuckle_s