poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Cutler
unknown

He was a habitual cutter,
 1
the barbiturates didn’t seem to
 2
 
 
cut it for him. Left him stuck in a
 3
personal barb. But he didn’t let
 4
people know this,
 5
 
 
as slicing the wills of others
 6
was his specialty. To him, stealing
 7
money was easy, because it
 8
belonged to someone who was dead.
 9
 
 
He ended up slashing a person’s
 10
complete account once, his
 11
misanthropic personality entrapping
 12
fake success—
 13
 
 
(Except when it came to
 14
temporary compassion for the family
 15
and their grieving time, his pathetic
 16
kindness radiating through that false,
 17
 
 
white smile.) What was odd was
 18
how he could remain monolith, flexible
 19
in falseness and
 20
 
 
lithe in deceptive movement. Odd that he
 21
could stay whole even when he was out
 22
cutting peoples’ fortunes in
 23
 
 
two. He played dice with fate once,
 24
sliced through his caution and said he
 25
could avoid getting caught, even with
 26
all of the stealing abound.
 27
 
 
Fate became his wife. She
 28
turned him in for the self-mutilation,
 29
 
 
broke his feeble trust and left
 30
him in slivers in the
 31
 
 
hospital cell, the only complete
 32
aspect of his life.
 33
 
 
He had cut too deep.
 34

12 Jun 08

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I don't read poems about cutters, just a personal preference, but I thought this one (what I read of it, anyway) was one of the best I'd seen of that variety.  I think there might be quite a lot of abstract words in this draft--including:  habitual, was, wills, specialty, complete, misanthropic, personality, fake, compassion, pathetic, grieving, kindness, false, falseness, deceptive, fortunes, fate, feeble, complete.
 — eric

i'll see what abstract terms i can get rid of. thank you for pointing them out.

i hope that this poem wasn't just the average cutter poem. glad you read it anyway.

thank you.
 — listen

wow, this is something.
very smooth delivery of a metaphor.
: )
 — fractalcore

thanks Fractalcore. it is always an honor to see you drop by.
 — listen

also, i wish i could write like the way you
did in this particular piece, listen.
: )
 — fractalcore

i think you could. you know what you're doing, there's no doubt about that. i'd be interested to see a piece like that from you.
 — listen

well, maybe i can write it in my own way but what i
meant was this was really you writing in your own
style and that i like your style in this piece very
much and i haven't thought about writing a piece
that works and flows like this, yaknow.

this is more than pretty [and] nice.
: )
 — fractalcore

oh and please give your thoughts on my "Whiny the Pooh..."

your opinion counts. thank you.
: )
 — fractalcore

0.286s