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with wings not fit for flight

while you look at me
with your Eyes
(all chlorophyll
and reproachful softness)
with words floating:
out and around
all letters and sounds
"you are bad
at being a good child but,
this does not affect my fondness of you."
i want to get high
and drink warm Brownie soup
out of teacups
and then, sink Away
in that lovely, silly
way i have
of falling through space and time.

15 Jun 08

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 — Celia

cocti? oh, that sounded funny...
cukk-tie, hmmm...
 — fractalcore

i would prefer constructive comments
to cactus-structive comments.
= ]
 — Celia

is this a poem for your father? nice move with that
semicolon after |11. maybe make your first strophe
the second to the last.

cukk-tie, hmm...
; )
 — fractalcore

theh remove ", and then" from |15?
yeah maybe, if it works for you.
: )
 — fractalcore

i meant ", i would".
sorry, a cactus stung me.
: )
 — fractalcore

no, its a poem for a friend.
well, a special friend, i guess you could say.
and thanks that definitly helps.
 — Celia