poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Mower
unknown

His purpose in life was to maintain
 1
plains of peace, to keep the blades
 2
 
 
cut, incapable of becoming weapons;
 3
when it wasn’t done, his father would
 4
punish him. So the gasoline stains
 5
were needed, the smell of
 6
 
 
grass puke. The fresh smell of temporary
 7
victory was always worth it, as the father
 8
was very easily capable of wrecking the
 9
boy’s sanctuary, if the chores weren’t
 10
 
 
completed. He tried to make sure they
 11
always were, but sometimes he forgot, or
 12
it couldn’t get done. In which case, his
 13
place of recovery was
 14
 
 
abused. The father lit it on fire when he
 15
was neglectful, to teach the boy to be
 16
respectful, to make sure it didn’t happen
 17
 
 
again. The father’s bile accumulated on the
 18
son’s grass piles left behind. These
 19
previous successes meant nothing, though,
 20
and that was what left him growing
 21
 
 
with weeds his father would never remove.
 22

19 Jun 08

Rated 9.3 (9.3) by 3 users.
Active (3): 9
Inactive (0): 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

i thought it was a very meaningful and is fantastic in so amny ways keep up the great work and good luck
 — unknown

thanks unknown. i appreciate your kindness.
 — listen

ah, one can never get enough carping on predictable writing.

however, at least there was a signature. i assume the reason why i do it is subconscious, that when a person tells stories they try to stick to the same voice so that way they aren't so hectic and confusing.

thanks for being honest. i'll start working around that. and, see what i can fix about the line breaks.
 — listen

mowing lessons from listen with the verity of wit writ in it -- you've crafted the meatphors in unexpected ways here
 — AlchemiA

thanks for reading AlchemiA. i always appreciate you stopping by.
 — listen

yeah i didn't mean to post anonymously. i thought it was such a good poem for its true feeling behind it so keep up the great work. maybe soon enough you will be writing your own books and ill be there to buy it
 — onyx12098

Onyx, all of your comments have been really helpful. i appreciate your kind support.

thank you.
 — listen

Nice "slice of life" poem.  Very well written.
 — PaulS

thanks PaulS. i suppose one can never worry enough about the quality of their work. i'm glad it worked out all right.
 — listen

some sad truths well-presented.
nice line breaks, too.

way to go, listen.
: )
 — fractalcore

thanks Fractalcore. i appreciate your comment and favoriting. it's always nice to know you've read one of my poems.
 — listen

my pleasure, listen.
i will be able to read them all in time.
it's a must.
: )
 — fractalcore

same with you. reading one of your poems is like reading several.

thank you.
 — listen

um, does that mean they all look the same?
that's -- i mean, i am -- very boring then.
: )
 — fractalcore

sorry, i meant reading one of your poems is like reading several high quality poems put together.

not saying simplify; please don't. your poems are just heavy. require several reads.

and they aren't repetitive, either. all of your poems are different.
 — listen

well, if that's the case then i should thank all of you great
PC poets more often. i get a lot of inspiration from this very
good site. i owe it all to you, all of you.

thank you, all.
: )
 — fractalcore

0.229s