His purpose in life was to maintain
plains of peace, to keep the blades
cut, incapable of becoming weapons;
when it wasn’t done, his father would
punish him. So the gasoline stains
were needed, the smell of
grass puke. The fresh smell of temporary
victory was always worth it, as the father
was very easily capable of wrecking the
boy’s sanctuary, if the chores weren’t
completed. He tried to make sure they
always were, but sometimes he forgot, or
it couldn’t get done. In which case, his
place of recovery was
abused. The father lit it on fire when he
was neglectful, to teach the boy to be
respectful, to make sure it didn’t happen
again. The father’s bile accumulated on the
son’s grass piles left behind. These
previous successes meant nothing, though,
and that was what left him growing
with weeds his father would never remove.
19 Jun 08
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i thought it was a very meaningful and is fantastic in so amny ways keep up the great work and good luck
thanks unknown. i appreciate your kindness.
ah, one can never get enough carping on predictable writing.
however, at least there was a signature. i assume the reason why i do it is subconscious, that when a person tells stories they try to stick to the same voice so that way they aren't so hectic and confusing.
thanks for being honest. i'll start working around that. and, see what i can fix about the line breaks.
mowing lessons from listen with the verity of wit writ in it -- you've crafted the meatphors in unexpected ways here
thanks for reading AlchemiA. i always appreciate you stopping by.
yeah i didn't mean to post anonymously. i thought it was such a good poem for its true feeling behind it so keep up the great work. maybe soon enough you will be writing your own books and ill be there to buy it
Onyx, all of your comments have been really helpful. i appreciate your kind support.
Nice "slice of life" poem. Very well written.
thanks PaulS. i suppose one can never worry enough about the quality of their work. i'm glad it worked out all right.
some sad truths well-presented.
nice line breaks, too.
way to go, listen.
thanks Fractalcore. i appreciate your comment and favoriting. it's always nice to know you've read one of my poems.
my pleasure, listen.
i will be able to read them all in time.
it's a must.
same with you. reading one of your poems is like reading several.
um, does that mean they all look the same?
that's -- i mean, i am -- very boring then.
sorry, i meant reading one of your poems is like reading several high quality poems put together.
not saying simplify; please don't. your poems are just heavy. require several reads.
and they aren't repetitive, either. all of your poems are different.
well, if that's the case then i should thank all of you great
PC poets more often. i get a lot of inspiration from this very
good site. i owe it all to you, all of you.
thank you, all.