poetry critical

online poetry workshop

same similarly

when they dis a peer
they a bun don,
build things and wigs
from wheat, wear
one or the many
faces similar to feces,
fatal fecal matter:
time in disguise,
these guys --
in the oven.

written 05/24/08
thanks, unknown.
: )

27 Jun 08

Rated 10 (8.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 6
Inactive (2): 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


Trying way too hard to be hip or cool, in my opinion.  I don't see the point, even slightly, sorry.  
 — Isabelle5

it's ok, Isabelle5.
thanks for stopping by.
: )
 — fractalcore

ahh you've potrat'd the government and their lackeys ( desire Monkeys of all hierarchies ) with vivid colour -- their Goal is not selflesss after all - in infinity all great and small are the same similarily -- bun in heaven oven of our birth -- writeous write
 — AphroDite

I cannot believe you got all that from this.

Can someone translate, as this is obviously in a language I can't speak or read!
 — Isabelle5

AlchemiA aka AphroDite, you nailed i again.

thank you always for taking the time and can
i appoint you as my personal translator? hehe.
: )
 — fractalcore

Izz, er Isabelle5, i think AlchemiA just explained
the piece. thanks for the comeback.
: )
 — fractalcore

my absolutely favorite part is: l3-6
the ending, the idea that time is infinite and we are all the same, after death, regardless of being good or bad, is beautiful too. all things turn into stories, gold in the oven.:)
 — nisetru

you have to get outta the way when reading your layer'd writing realEYESations -- kinda like Zen Archery where the bullsEYE is inside and the arrow of time never really left, right
 — AphroDite

nisetru, thank you so much for your kindness.
they don a bun or the many faces but they --
or we -- are all the same at the core...we're
all the golden loaf in the oven inspite and despite
of all the loathing and loving. we're all like time in
[static] motion.
: )
 — fractalcore

very well-said, AlchemiA aka AphroDite.

thanks for the comeback.
: )
 — fractalcore

6-7 are kind of tasteless imo, but the rest of it can be followed and understood easily.
 — Virgil

thanks, Virgil.

good to know you follow the rest of the piece easily aside
form ||6-7. that part there is due to the somewhat mantra
thing i tell myself, i.e. "i am worth a piece of shit and it's
the wisest thing i can say".

really, it's when one is able to see that there's no real
demarcation line between things that he is able to follow
and understand easily and flow with the flow, too.

always a pleasure to hear your comments.
: )
 — fractalcore