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Poem for B-- D----

Perchance, perhps we're one and two
Carry in our shoes the Hes the Hows and the Whose turned rude
the guy who people can't help but turn a deaf ear to
(that's me and you
who's 1 and 2
of one and two.)
perhaps perchance it was right to do
to knock on the stupid and salute the few
perchaps perchaunce it's that we know
the same old rug and the same old cold
and have cooked raw thoughts in the same old stove
forced to've walkt th' same ode dart road
each have stolen a few broken light bulbs
from a blind man in the blood-oil factory robe
and its a mighty sin cause we can see his clothes.
born we both from the same old door.
day dream about screwin the same loud whore
one's in me and one's in you
together they make both one two for the bruisin
two who could use a good losin
A few good things that we can do,
and one or two in mines and you.
And more than that
fell from your hat
and hit the floor
before my door
and gave two knocks
i thought were cops
but it was you
and howdy do
i in-tro-duce
from me to you
a me i've left
for you to do
to leave to thee
my cabinet key
a me for you
a you who's blue
from head to shoe
i'll let you know
i love you too
when you give the phrase
for me and mine
a phrase for me and mine to find
a kind reply behind my eye
for now i wait
for fate to set us straight
designate a date
for coffee and talk
around the block
whenever you're free for
young company
I remember my dream
from last I sleeped.

27 Jun 08

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||19-20 make for a good break from the eminent
rhyme pattern...like a sweet, wanton transition which
you're able to nail down to facilitate that other half
which is as good as the first one.

long live Bob Dylan.
: )
 — fractalcore

and you, of course.

: )
 — fractalcore

oh, whew, i was hanging on an edge there ;) heart
 — OKcomputer

yeah, i think that's where you climaxed right there
but still had a lot to say in the aftermath.

nice graph it would make, i think.
: )
 — fractalcore

nice wordplay, btw.
: )
 — fractalcore

Unusual take on Dylan which could operate well as two seperate poems methinks

Larry wharehouse eyes Lark
 — larrylark

i think dylan's songs worked because he wasn't a poet -- he just borrowed a lot of phrases he'd picked up hanging around big-people and old guys. this one doesn't work well as a song, and it's a verse, in the way that dr. seuss work is verse, and has to only fulfill the needs of its limited audience. there's nothing wrong with this on that level, though it reads childish to me -- childish, not as pure expression but as contrived wording to impress the big-people.
 — joey

whew! read this back when, but course dint co-meant. now took a while to find and heap praises und heils onto its wonderful endrhyminess. really good stuff, and also i think the sounds that ent up being end repetitioned were well chosen, or at least they chose you well; very singsongy ramalamahey-HO
 — chuckle_s