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clouds crushed against the sky
DeformedLion

unfold of me and cry for the lonely boy,
 1
the flower spent into the shredder
 2
taking a shower and fully
 3
clothed, awake yet visceral
 4
as the dream which brought
 5
him to this place.
 6
 
 
I write this for the tears
 7
you cannot witness through the
 8
wall you cannot touch,
 9
for the wretched sobbing
 10
you pan out;
 11
 
 
and fly away
 12
like clouds
 13
crushed
 14
against the
 15
sky.  
 16
 
 
 
 
     . . .
 17

5 Jul 08

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Comments:

nice take on perspective.

seems innovative to me. the way you split it up. and other things. good work.
 — listen

thanks for reading listen
 — DeformedLion

I have been thinking that maybe I should just keep the first 16 lines and get rid of the rest...thoughts?
 — DeformedLion

exactly what i thought when i read this.
keep the first 16 lines.
: )
 — fractalcore

at times the ... tells all... i am intrigued please do continue
 — Liliana

I in poem, and inside a tired stomach
bruised
and wanting. more from these words,
that is what I expect
and pain for

that gross and muddled
or vaporized like a dove
I can be sure of both
my place and starting point,
as they crash into
each other;

like a baby and a second-hand pram.

a diffidence to irony is all the world
can hope to teach us,

I learn; the television is
on.
 — DeformedLion

--ok, well, originally that is what followed the "..."
 — DeformedLion

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