poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Red Rhythm (II)
technomancer

Red Rhythm, up-beat tempo!
 1
That sand King stands King and sings
 2
"Love a'int what I thought!
 3
Love a'int what I got,
 4
so I'll have it not."
 5
 
 
He turned away from the day.
 6
 
 
While the moon pulls the sheets off the sand
 7
in a foamy back-walk, the waves talk and splash
 8
"Love, Breath...
 9
Love, Breath...
 10
Breath
 11
Breath"
 12
 
 
People power through an hour, a lover
 13
stops to rest, and turn down the volume,
 14
still tapping on her desk.
 15

A re-take on:
http://www.poetrycritical.net/read/37438/

14 Jul 08

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(27 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Thoughts?
 — technomancer

People power through an hour?
hmm, interesting line...

strange cadence, too, but i'm
tapping on my desk.
: )
 — fractalcore

0.24s