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G l i m p s e
markfelician

3rd world Country
 1
        Trafficked streets
 2
           Polluted earth
 3
             Sultry sidewalks
 4
               Street children
 5
                  Sweaty Palms facing God.
 6

23 Jul 08

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Comments:

Line 3 is kind of awkward.
True, but maybe replace environment with something that doesn't sound so grade 4 science class.
 — mindbodysoul

thank you mindbodysoul
 — markfelician

Ah, all points toward Mecca.  Nicely put and shown.
 — Isabelle5

Sweaty palms...Happy birthday, Mark.
 — unknown

people already know your birthday?
born on the cusp, are you?

although the poem is in list-form, it ends with a powerful image.
nice.
 — jenakajoffer

nope, no cusp.  i was looking at the date on this poem.
 — jenakajoffer

thanks jen and unknown (??? :) yep just turned 25 and i feel like 40 or sumthin.
 — markfelician

that's good, because when you turn 40, you will feel 25!
 — Isabelle5

;)
 — unknown

this makes me think all countries are 3rd world.
nice slant image, format and message.
: )
 — fractalcore

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