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[K]WATS YORE GLITCH[?]
fractalcore

ephemeral rehash of skin
 1
allergy on a daily basis
 2
 
 
watch: snake, dance, and cla[s]ps
 3
in it tug-ether, numb-her for the feast
 4
 
 
note held for too long till
 5
they/you
 6
notice and hold still --
 7
 
 
why
 8
why not
 9
 
 
in spirals
 10
 
 
dot
 11
that
 12
dot
 13




written 07/15/08
http://www.poetrycritical.net/read/49625/
thanks, sybarite.
: )

25 Jul 08

Rated 9 (8.7) by 4 users.
Active (4):
Inactive (12): 1, 4, 5, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

watch: snake, dance, and cla[s]ps
in it tug-ether, numb-her for the feast

This speaks to me in coded glances. nice.
 — Thirteen

mr. core
this would make mona laugh
and davinci smile.......


Lily
 — Liliana

-fractalcore-

may i give you a theme to write poem in your own unique style?
 — raskolniikov

You are a treat to read fractalacious one. This pome be one of your best.
 — duality

thanks for faving, nisetru.
any thoughts on the piece?
: )
 — fractalcore

thanks, Thirteen.

i'd like to know what it's telling you.
: )
 — fractalcore

hi, Lily.

i'm beginning to imagine a painting of mona davinci
laughing incessantly with her right hand holding a
paintbrush painting a red smiley on her left hand.

was mona davinci schizophrenic?
; )
 — fractalcore

hello, mr. rask.

um, that's an excellent idea but i can't promise
you anything except i'll work on it when i'm in
the mood.

thanks for always stopping by.
: )
 — fractalcore

hi, duality.

i like your username. comments like yours are a treat to
read, too. yore won off thee best.
: )
 — fractalcore

kwats? as in zen-koan or something, right?
 — DeformedLion

mona davinci was a schiz.
you see...i have this theory.....
mona was completely a fake
created by davinci.....the smile
yes davinci's masterpiece.......
to f....with the world!
 — Liliana

This one resonates deep within my torpid soul
 — larrylark

Damn Light, DL.
er, right.
; )
 — fractalcore

hi, Liliana.

you maybe right. or is it your alter-ego
talking?

mine maybe.
: )
 — fractalcore

i'm afraid you're numbed for the feast,
mr. larry torpedo lark.

thanks for stopping by.
: )
 — fractalcore

Word play, said the wise man to the people who couldn't understand him. Stand and greet me for I hold two messages for the price of one; I speak a tongue unfamiliar to your orifices yet concentrated pierces and gawdy eyelashes shall pierce my shallow veil and reveal me to be you and all you stand for. I speak your tongue broken into a maze of wonder. Read and I shall explain.
 — unknown

where have you been all this time, great Unknown.
i mean, i might sound silly asking that question which
i need not ask but you are a rare gem.

do i know you? [another silly question.] keep that eye
open. i'm very glad to have met you here and i hope that
you could somehow usher me to your writing so i can
witness and reciprocate your keenness.

    ...AUM...
...namaskar...
     ____
  ___/__
      /\
   /     \
fractalcore
 — fractalcore

The pleasure is all mine. Keep up the great work!
 — unknown

same pleasure here.

may i see your great work?
: )
 — fractalcore

i like the word play, the double meanings, and the spiral symbol; regardless of right or wrong, actions do repeat
at first reading, i thought it was about a rash caused by wearing a watch, and about how people react when they observe they are being observed..
 — nisetru

Alas my work is quite there. Looming in broken shadows to strike the perfect glance at the passing stranger. I'd like to stay anonymous for a while longer for the twirling wind is hard to understand without its shadow.  
 — unknown

hi, nisetru.

birth-death-rebirth-redeath is depicted here as the ephemeral
rehash of skin [allergy] on a scale of a day-unit. the numb-her
[number/population] of all mankind taken as a snake-whole is
in a feast [Life] dancing to but One tune/note held for Eternity
by Gawd/Us Himself/Ourselves, always reaching out and speaking
to us in but One voice in this no other than a Self-to-Self business
carried on in endless cycles [spirals] and so on and so forth,
dot,that,dot [...] in spite and despite of the why and why-not
questions.

it's actually a circus [glitch] kind of thing we have. my glitch is
everybody's own, not to mention the indescribable beauty of it
all, of course.

pleasure to read your comment as always.
: )
 — fractalcore

well, unky, why don't you get that poem of yours up here in the
recently commented? would really be delighted to read it.

you present yourself very well as Unknown.
what is there to lose? none is lost nor gained,
remember?
: )
 — fractalcore

we are 'in it tug-ether' where the Heart can see what the eyes 'oft miss till we are 'still' in that 'numb-her' kiss -- 'Where religion ends, Spirituality begins,' is what my Teacher would say -- fractaliscious fractalcore
 — AlchemiA

the line break akz as an absolute: the end of the world. when you break an common paragraph into line breaks it makes the paragraph fragmented. the deal with writing a poem is that it forms patterns out of fragments: if you want random, touch your feces and look for cake. poetry is about poetry.
 — joey

I did initially give this a four, but when I looked at this again to state that I've always found  the "dropping demarcation line" style you profess to be frustrating, I ended up changing it to an eight, for what it's worth (no pun intended). heck knows I've done that style too (pizza en retard pour nuit, et al) and poetry is about metaphor and connotation (providing the denotation is reasonably intelligible, but not necessarily so within limits).

line 4 is the weakest link imo, but because it illustrates discognisciance it may not be so offensive. and yet, the dashes kind of interfere with that impression...

consider cutting line 7's "hold" also.
 — Virgil

re: joey

he can't do much worse than the style in which you leave your own comments. yes, poetry is poetry, but comments are for discussion about a work, which is supposed to be prosaic. poetry belongs on the other side of the comment box.
 — Virgil

hi, AlchemiA.

very  glad to have you back, sir.
your teacher must be a real good student.

: )
 — fractalcore

ey, jaw-wee.
thanks, man.

it is very much fragmented and surely fails at
creating a full paragraph out of the pattern.
sorry for those who had trouble looking as i'm
not really into 3D eyeglasses but would most
likely try them on when i really run out of ideas
coming out of my arse.
: )
 — fractalcore

Virgil, glad to have you here, man.

did you mean "old" to sound like "how-old"?
forgetting to break that word is one glitch growing
old on me, sir.

wouldn't have whined about the four
butt four whatever the 8 is worth,
thank you so verily.

so you left this kind of style for what reason?
: )
 — fractalcore

section4, thanks for faving, dude.
: )
 — fractalcore

Your welcome!  Your style is so interesting.  Not sure that I always "get" it but that certainly doesn't negate liking it.  Cheers!
 — sybarite

thanks, sybarite.

and cheers.
: )
 — fractalcore

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