poetry critical

online poetry workshop



time on the edge
Aziel

Encasing ecstasy
 1
wet, under, dagger hidden
 2
harnessing
 3
fingered silk with sandpaper tongues
 4
husky laughter
 5
filled my lungs
 6
 
 
soft areolas
 7
brushed addiction
 8
on her tender canvas
 9
we slept
 10
ear to ear
 11
shared no dreams
 12
 
 
that smile
 13
swallowed her face
 14
with disturbing
 15
consistency
 16
i buried mine
 17
within her seams
 18

26 Jul 08

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (1): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(50 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

soft areolas
brushed addiction
on her tender canvas
we slept
ear to ear
shared no dreams

that smile
swalllowed her face
with disturbing
consistency
wet, under, dagger hidden
i buried mine under her sheets
 — unknown

Could maybe turn me on,  

sorta beautiful, moistly yes, typo there. whatever. you have written a poem that is most engrossing. captivating. my tongue likes the taste of wine.
 — DeformedLion

sounds like someone jacking-off
 — unknown

yep, the greatest sound in all the world. slather me in your juices. ple-ease.
 — DeformedLion

Second greatest sound
Flushing reigns supreme like a summer wave crashing down on you after you've had too much to drink.
 — unknown

Deformed, I'd slather your juices on canvas and sell it to a museum.  I totally love you.
 — Aziel

Great sound to this and paints a strong image

Larry the snooze lark
 — larrylark

made some adjustments.
 — Aziel

wonderful wonderful.
great imagery,
lesbian undertones
brooding
in these verses
and that last stanza,
wonder-full.
 — trochee

bump
 — Aziel

bump
 — DeformedLion

I'll up your bump!  

please to be critique-ings.
 — Aziel

0.378s