poetry critical

online poetry workshop



INTRANCE | 8'SIT
fractalcore

aye
 1
                      aum
 2
          mee
 3
                      aum
 4
eye
 5
         [e]we
 6




written 06/01/08
http://poetrycritical.net/read/116/
thanks, gnormal.
: )

31 Jul 08

Rated 10 (4) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 1, 1, 7, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(205 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

short and sweet. lines 1 through 3 are my favourite, not sure about the rest though ;-)
 — raskolniikov

thank you, sir.

not sure about the rest either.
i'll just get back to it but
any suggestions though?

: )
 — fractalcore

  a bit wordy
the space  is works for you

i likey*
 — Liliana

am I me
we I am

a wee meme am I

I went to gnormals piece and read the explanation in which I found fully a Lover

i like you in this place.
i like you because you hear me.
i like you because you are here.
i like you to be here.  love, me.
i, like you, am here.
i like it when you bring me to you by reading this.
i like you.  do you hear me?
i like you.  bring me to you.
i am liking you by way of this opportunity.
i like you.  here, you can have this.  from me.
i like you so near me you hear me.
i like you so near me you are at me.
i like you.  i give myself to you.
i like things.  i have made this.  you are here now.  as much as you are here, i was too, as i have obviously left a note for you.  and in a way, i am still here. we are here together.  and i like you.
— gnormal
 — AlchemiA

hi, Liliana.

methankyewithoutspaces.
: )
 — fractalcore

hi, AlchemiA.

gnormal is awesome, right?
everybody should read him.

: )
 — fractalcore

oh, Lily.

thanks for faving. i think this is as short as it can be
but i can leave out all the words 'cept for a single "i" for you.

wood yeah lie kit?
: )
 — fractalcore

   a single "i" for you?
  
  you hava did et again a masterpiece.....
  
  iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am in likingness
 — Liliana

"i am in likingness"...

hmm...very nice to hear that, Lily.
: )
 — fractalcore

now that's more like it.

what do you think?
: )
 — fractalcore

is the space......i tell ewe

like a window with new curtains
simply a deal~eye~t....mwaa*
    
 — Liliana

owe yore sew sue wheat, Liliana.
: )
 — fractalcore

bumpeetee day, everee-one.
; )
 — fractalcore

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