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Universal Nightmare
marccull

Well, I was her dream.
 1
Then she couldn't wake from me
 2
When she wanted to.
 3

2 Aug 08

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Comments:

she really wants to
but can't, won't ever wake from
i was all she dreams...

: )
 — fractalcore

sorry.

she really wants to
but can't, won't ever wake from
i am all her dreams...
: )
 — fractalcore

heck, your version is perfect; don't change it.
: )
 — fractalcore

oof, this reads like a bad translation of something which was probably, in the original, worded in a very quick and clever way -- some why which catches the mood but doesn't rely on simply describing the objects in the room for an insurance list.

i suppose this is supposed to be very witty and insightful, but it's so simple-minded as writing that i think the audience for it would be to simple to get it, and probably say encouraging words to you just because you put some words together for them. maybe sk8ters, when they're stoned on dope would trade 'poems' like this, the way they trade used condoms ( do they? ).
 — joey

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