poetry critical

online poetry workshop



the thing is
unknown

the thing is
 1
to get in there
 2
with a hacksaw
 3
 
 
cut out
 4
an eight inch length
 5
of your
 6
thigh-bone
 7
 
 
and
 8
 
 
hold it
 9
to your ear
 10
like a conch:
 11
 
 
this is
 12
your
 13
voice.
 14
 
 
anything else
 15
you write
 16
is chalk line
 17
around a
 18
wishing well.
 19
 
 
very few
 20
are willing
 21
or able
 22
to do this:
 23
 
 
they will tell you
 24
the thing is
 25
 
 
to read
 26
as much as possible.
 27
 
 
they will talk
 28
much more
 29
than they ever
 30
listen.
 31
 
 
their poems will
 32
hold no water:
 33
 
 
pierce
 34
no skin.
 35

5 Aug 08

Rated 9 (9.3) by 1 users.
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Comments:

how true, especially lines 15-19.
 — SilverGirl

I find the style here kind of choppy.  Somehow the short sentences don't really work here and make it work to read.
 — propoet50

Love the terseness in this very direct piece of writing.  Lines 32-35 really had impact.  
 — sybarite

it's possible to write as many of these as there are doubts in your mind after you write one like this. it's still about writing, though, and what this does is give a bumpy word theme park ride. what it says is that you're right and that we're not in any position to shift out of you and into our own space... unless we're retards and simply clone-fart "this is good!". we use prose to talk about poetry but prose has to fix things as dictionary dumb in order to share. even the lamers can say "poetry is feeling", and, reading your verse, i'd have to say that they've got a point.
 — joey

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