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Voluntary Rustings
trochee

When our identities are lost
 1
in crowded ménages
 2
when these silver threads
 3
of analogous time
 4
chime
 5
disgusts for each other
 6
when our words become to rust
 7
my touch corrodes
 8
we speak in silent stares
 9
every detailed regard
 10
effaced
 11
and our shadows no longer meet
 12
 
 
We can wear our verses
 13
on this self-imposed skin
 14
avoiding the sameness
 15
of each other's rhyme and seek
 16
to become lain strangers again.
 17

10 Aug 08

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Comments:

nice and clever and too bad this isn't in French cause you can do what you're doing upside down and make the reader look kind of foolish reading this bent over like so many surat peasants harvesting late afternoon sun.
 — joey

¿sıɥʇ ǝʞı1 uɐǝɯ noʎ op 'ʎǝoظ
 — raskolniikov

haha, rask...that's great.

oh, the poem.  yes i really enjoyed this.  
beautifully!
=-)
 — jenakajoffer

rein comme c,a, mon ami. like this:

when an old identity forced,
such as this,
meets a trois-menage, menage',
comme ca...

we'll find out, just as it's opined --
somethin's gotta chime, somethin's
gotta chime,
something's got to chime.

            ;          &nbs p;           mox jacob
 — joey

lol.
thanks jo-jo.
thanks rask.
thank you jenny.
 — trochee

nice. good phrase manipulations, as that in lines sixteen, seven. seems finished. also like the use of the word ménages.
 — listen
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