poetry critical

online poetry workshop



if poetry were mammaries i would not forget
unknown

i saw your breasts
 1
stare at me while
 2
you chatted with
 3
your friends.
 4
 
 
they were dying
 5
from asphyxiation.
 6
 
 
one nipple retracted
 7
and disappeared
 8
somewhere between
 9
union square and grand
 10
central station.
 11
 
 
i dont think you take care of them.  
 12
 
 
if you werent born with them you would.
 13
 
 
on many a good day
 14
have i made my home
 15
between those soft half
 16
moons regardless of
 17
my destination.
 18
 
 
today is not that day.
 19
 
 
instead i am reporting you
 20
to the society for protection
 21
against mammary cruelty.
 22


  
@ @

13 Aug 08

Rated 8 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6
Inactive (4): 7, 8, 9, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(4 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

@ @
 — unknown

This is even funnier than joey reading poetry on youtube after first consuming a lethal overdose of parakeetamol.
 — unknown

I think you should change line 12 to "If I had them, I would."  That would make this even funnier.
 — Isabelle5

so funny
l13-17 are lovely.
must be an image that attracts the eyes but i don't really like that girl either....
 — nisetru

LOL!
 — unknown

poems hardly make me laugh. this one is an exception.
.. from the title '@ @' to the last line, hilarious!
 — enkantada

just the right size for my liking, hehe.
: )
 — fractalcore

thanks!
 — unknown

AWESOME POEM! I WILL SUGGEST "SUCH A" TO SUBSTITUTE FOR "THAT" IN LINE 19 AND ALSO ADDITIONALLY AS WELL, TOO, WONDER ABOUT SOMETHING WHICH AS I TYPED THIS I CHANGED MY  MIND ABOUT.
 — chuckle_s

juvenile and disrespectful.

sen obamaz
 — unknown

OH YEAH. TITULAR PERFECTION. I SALUTE YOU, MY MOST CLEVER FRIEND.
 — chuckle_s

i saw two tits come sai---ling,
over the bounding main --

they were hanging over the rai---ling,
inspir'ng this sweet refrain:

oh, tits, tits, tits of cin-cinn-ati --
hidden from the light of day!
i-sometimes-think-of-the-tits of alabammy,
but the tits of lower ohio lead the way!
 — joey

i visited the pope

he got all googly-eyed and

said favourite this
 — chuckle_s

and who dont love the pope
 — chuckle_s

this poem suckles
 — chuckle_s

sorry
 — chuckle_s

cant help it i love this poem and all it represents
 — chuckle_s

i knew u were a boob man
 — unknown

hahahaha!
 — 1994

hahahah naughty, but good!!
 — unknown

idiot
 — unknown

Clever and fun.  I agree with Isabelle about L12--it's a bit awkward.  Overall, a delightful ditty about titties!
 — sybarite

must be riding the boob tube
 — unknown

just revisiting the breasts.
glad to find them in good shape.

: )
 — fractalcore

lol
 — unknown

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