| I in Silence
|
trochee
| In the airs that end with silence | 1 |
in the creases of incoherent distance | 2 |
and checkerboard linoleum floors of time | 3 |
I think of you squirming | 4 |
like a nude-pink worm on a hook | 5 |
or in a bistro writing on a napkin | 6 |
your words and your thoughts | 7 |
stretched taut scrutinizing | 8 |
pretty boys | 9 |
assessing perfumes and smoke rings. | 10 |
| |
(And in front of a wall-length mirror | 11 |
I see myself; | 12 |
wretched | 13 |
a photograph of sorrow | 14 |
my soft beingness | 15 |
pitiable in a room | 16 |
of resounding volume | 17 |
hoping that you dont ask me for words | 18 |
rather rely on my tongue-tied gestures.) | 19 |
I am a sad endless aria | 20 |
I hope my enemies go blind. | 21 |
|
14 Aug 08 |
Rated 7.6 (8) by 7 users.
Active (7): 1, 1, 7, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (1): 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(68 more poems by this author)
(4 users consider this poem a favorite)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
come back my lil baba
i have pani and areolas for you
venkatarama saraswai bindra
— unknown
'squirming in a nude-pink worming' would have been cool. this is nice retro 1930's writing, and fun to read. i don't think the English really like poetry, and that's the charm of this English Poetry from 1934 piece. the next one is about coal miners?
— joey
how do you do it, trochee? it's nicely written, and i can't think that you actually were doing retro -- and this doesn't seem cloned -- the voice seems to me to be consistent -- are you writing for 'mood' when you write something like this, or is it a wording-image that you fall into? i don't know if i'm clear when i say 'word-image', but it's like the lighting in a stage play and how that sets the tone.
mike
— joey
by the way, the title really bothers me. even 'the airs that end with silence', as a title might be appropriate?
— joey
the title both attracts and repels as almost trite -- the body of the pome makes up for it and delivers to us a dichotomy of pain -- there was a forum here on self-loathing and this piece encapsulates that with grace --
— AlchemiA
oh nice one troch,
i pity the foo, who tries to break your beingness.
line 3 was oooooooh so long, phew man, had to give it a few tires...i mean, tries. =-)
great writing!
— jenakajoffer
wow.
: )
— fractalcore
yes diffinitely a good write. fav 10
— bohemian
This is a great angst poem trochee. I also think the title could be stronger--perhaps, as joey suggests, the first line of the poem would work. The poem itself is strong. Nice work.
— PaulS
thanks unknown.
thanks joey. the retro voice formed along the way i guess, wasnt intentional.
changed the title a bit.
thanks alch...
helo jen.. foo? tires? ;) me cannot understand, what you saying to try.
thanks fractal.
thanks for the fav bohemian.
thank you paul s
— trochee
U in Fuck
— chuckle_s
U in You
— chuckle_s
fuck you!
— chuckle_s
|
|
|