poetry critical

online poetry workshop



chunks end high mist-tear larry circuit bypass lark
fractalcore

we either
 1
neglect or
 2
ignore the
 3
signs
 4
 
 
often do
 5
we neither
 6
notice nor see
 7
 
 
circles are
 8
triangles
 9
really
 10
 
 
no sides taken
 11
nor areas squared
 12
cubed much less
 13
 
 
only solid
 14
flat out repetitious
 15
angles
 16
and curves
 17
 
 
bipolar infinitely singular
 18
problem[']s solved
 19
 
 
real members
 20
equal[s]
 21
undefined you
 22
plush or less
 23
meme
 24




written 07/05/08
http://poetrycritic al.net/read/48857/

thanks and hi, mister larry circuit bypass lark.
: )

18 Aug 08

Rated 9.5 (8.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (3): 5, 6, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(204 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

'so the sign said ...' no sides were taken accepting the inside - nice homage to Larry long haired freaky people need not apply Lark
 — AlchemiA

right on the mark, Alc.
thank you so much.
: )
 — fractalcore

beautiful writing and verse ;)
 — Mongrol

thanks, Mongrol sir.
: )
 — fractalcore

mr. larry where are you now lark?
; )
 — fractalcore

hello, PC.
: )
 — fractalcore

we often neglect or ignore,
the signs which we notice or see...

and circle the angles
triangularly scribed
with 'sought-out'
and 'sobbing'
and 'me'.

the thoughtful
declensions
of curves and conventions
allow us the problem as 'solved',

so, thus, with the reading,
the part which is needing
is ever for-never
resolved.
 — joey

that's a lovely response, joey, and by that
gesture of yours, you're not allowed to get
away on a vacation yet.
; )
 — fractalcore

I am highly honoured in my bi polar non freaky way

Larry solidly flat out Lark
 — larrylark

pleasure's all mine, larry is actually inflated i tell you lark.
: )
 — fractalcore

What's it about?
 — technomancer

um, it's partly a comment on mr larrylark's poem
and on some unknown's comment on me there all
in the only language i know.

thanks so much for stopping by.
: )
 — fractalcore

suggestions:
L12, "no" instead of "nor" (for sound and subtle import)
L18,  exercise your right of poetic license by spelling bipolar as "bi polar" (subtle import again, see)

The shorty-short lines make this poem unduly difficult to read at places.
But perhaps you have a very good reason for them. I've only read the poem three times.
It sort of gets easier by familiarity, but, most readers won't bother chip-chopping even once through a deliberately minced poem (my guess).

I critiqued this poem because I like nonetheless; it is smart and clean.
 — netskyIam

I am just pixels of triangles???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!There is no such thing as flavour 0----- you mean i payed four dollars for cup of "cold" "cow" \"matter\"??????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! There is no such thing as colour????????????!!!!!!! feck you, i believe i will go participate in society now, i've got my buttons with faces,
either/or,
this either/or that.
whoever can fuck a butt --
(thats my favorite button)
-- on my best dinner shirt, you mean i payed fourty-sick bucks for an orderly tangle of pig-mint and thread? and it has a butt stain on the sleeve
 — OKcomputer

thanks, reid.

will give your suggestions some thought.
: )
 — fractalcore

OOOOOOOOOOOOK, eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
what's for dinner? share the bread amongst society
and eat from dirty palm leaves or just palms w/o the
leaves or you can eat-her this or that on your butt
but who cares aside from the dessert on the side
who's no other than your next of kin that you're apt
to devour when nobody's lookin? look in or out we
go ga-ga ghee-ghee hahaho...

oh and um, ab-stain from too much drug deficiency,
we should.
: )
 — fractalcore

0.222s