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Goodnight, sleep well
sherains

We had many things in common,
 1
least of which
 2
was our capacity for pain
 3
and our frequent lack
 4
of sleep.
 5
 
 
I stayed up with you
 6
long before I knew you.
 7
While you were climbing rooftops
 8
I was driving through summer nights
 9
and perhaps
 10
our desperate moments crossed paths;
 11
shook hands,
 12
winking at what we would know.
 13
 
 
The world got colder
 14
and though two people
 15
can stay warm better than one
 16
I found myself freezing
 17
more often than I should have.
 18
 
 
I sleep better
 19
these new summer nights.
 20
 
 
But when the air
 21
is hot and still,
 22
I free myself
 23
from my tangled sheets
 24
and peer out the window,
 25
wondering whose rooftop
 26
you're climbing
 27
tonight.
 28

18 Aug 08

Rated 9.5 (8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 9
Inactive (18): 1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(22 more poems by this author)

(19 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

Possibly your best work yet, sherains.
 — unknown

I'd make were was in line 3, to match the singular 'which' in line 2.  I'd change your to you're in line 27.  Do you need 'new' in line 20?

Other than those few things, I can melt right into this.  
 — Isabelle5

Yep, I liked this until I saw "your" and not "you're".
 — unknown

Silly spelling errors!  

I added 'new' because a year has gone by, and it's a new summer, new ways of thinking, new beginings, etc.
 — sherains

Just wonderful.  A beautiful portrayal of what was, but now is not, and the difficulty of moving on. Brava!
 — unknown

Okay, then new should stay, you have good reasons for it.  
 — Isabelle5

Good stuff.
 — unknown

Appreciate the comments everyone!
 — sherains

love it.
 — brokenarrows

Wow
 — themolly

I hope that's a good 'wow' molly!
 — sherains

this is perfection
 — unknown

love love love
 — unknown

This is sweet.
 — SarahMichele

thanks sarah
 — sherains

Very well done sherains, very well done.
 — PaulS

thanks PaulS, I have to say I was pretty satisfied with this one
 — sherains

my favourite.
 — brushwoo

well i wonder why 'capacity for pain' was mentioned. the poem opens up with it, and never pays it mind again; perplexing.
the easy-reading colloquial language was a definite plus, and added to the familiarity of the thing.
'climbing' rooftops is an odd way of putting it, to me, as one does not actually climb a rooftop but rather climbs up onto a rooftop; the rooftop being the end point of the climbing. 'running' might be a better choice there, and would work well in 27, i think.
nice words
 — chuckle_s

I love this. The control in it, yet so much emotion. It's beautiful. Thank you for this.

-Kiite
 — unknown

Thank you K, I'm glad you liked it.  And chuckles, thanks for your comment, although if you live in New England you'll know how low some of the older roofs can droop, making it very possible to climb 'up' them!  ( -:
 — sherains

Come off it unk
 — sherains

call me crazy, but to me this sounds like its about 2 dudes...
 — unknown

hmm, well that's a stretch, but that's not what it's about
 — sherains

wow this is so good. i really love this. like i mean insanely good. congrats on a beautiful piece
 — silentspring

Thanks silent.  It's mostly just emotion and feelings spilled out without any censor.  I'm never sure where I'm going with my poems until I'm almost there.
 — sherains

yes a good wow
 — themolly

man- this gave me a shiver at the end.
 — autumn1860

Darina's.  ;)
 — Haxxen

darina's?
 — sherains

I still don't know what/who Darina's is
 — sherains

thanks for reading clmt
 — sherains

This was quite possibly one of the best poems I have ever read. Keep up the good work, you got skills.
 — unknown

thanks for reading unk ( -:
 — sherains

hey...this is another one i like of yours...
 — brother_sun

lovely piece

would that it had more metaphoric language though

thanks
 — unknown

sarcasm right?
 — sherains

THE END IS NIGH
 — chuckle_s

thanks chuck ( -:
 — sherains

I'm very flattered to have this bak in the top rated, it's one of my favs
 — sherains

hmm
 — unknown

love the imagery in the last stanza, perfecto
 — unknown

thanks unk
-sherains
 — unknown

Stupid
 — unknown

Very beautiful sherain. Nothing to change here except perhaps the form of stanza two. Or did you want it to represent the theme visually?
 — smugzy

thanks for the read smug...how do you think stanza 2 should be?  i did intend for a flashback-esque imagery, but i'm willing to move things around a bit
-sherains
 — unknown

great one  mun
 — unknown

Nice poem.  I know you're probably through with edits for this but I'd consider changing line 7 to 'long before we met'.  Otherthanthat, enjoyed reading.
 — JKWeb

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