poetry critical

online poetry workshop


pebbled flesh thickens
blood murmurs
in the light-dark sea,
deep and neutral,
it flows in a circle
it never stops.

26 Aug 08

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(19 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


I follow the allusions but for the 2nd line with 'pebbled flesh' -- does that play on the use of pebbles to consult the Tao Te Ching? I'm aware of the Yarrow Stalks and the coin as well as Computer methods of consulting but not the pebbled -- yet the allusion sticks in the next line wondrously and the coup is the moving light-dark metaphor of the Yin-Yang symbol which is always moving like the beat of our hearts -- a prescious little gem with many reflections here
 — AlchemiA

L 7 and 8 are redundant
 — joshcoops

Or could you just remove the word continuous?
 — smugzy

For brevity, consider

pebbled flesh thickens
to rot
beneath is a murmur of blood
from light-dark sea
deep and neutral
it circles
 — DianaTrees

deep. deep. deep.
 — psychofemale